Esala Poya on Saturday :

Life doesn’t begin with birth, nor end with death

By Lionel Wijesiri

Experiencing the death of a loved one, or witnessing the death of another, can be one of the most profound events in one’s life. But death can be a teacher. Only in facing death, those of loved ones and our own, can we be free from the fear of it and learn the lessons it has to teach about life.

Life is impermanent. Everyone knows it. After we come into this world, we may live for 60 years, or possibly a 100 years, or perhaps even longer. But we grow, and finally we have to die. According to Buddhism, our life does not begin only at the moment of birth; and death too, does not imply the end of everything.

Actually, we existed before we were born, and we will have another life after death. We will be reborn in another place and the cycle of life and death will continue endlessly. The constant rebirth into this suffering world is a bigger problem than the simple death at the end of each life. Constant rebirth is difficult to solve and it becomes a critical issue when we recognise and wish to overcome it.

Personal experience

I lost my mother exactly 25 years ago. She was 76 years old when she died and no one realised how ill she was. I don’t think she even knew. In fact, she had been to the doctor just three days before and the doctor had diagnosed her as having a simple lung infection, and sent her home with some antibiotics.

She died a few days later peacefully. She did not die alone and I, along with the rest of the family, had an opportunity to be around her when she closed her eyes forever. We were lucky because not many people will get this opportunity.

On the day she was cremated, a friend gave me a copy of the Dhammapada. He has marked few pages and he wanted me to go through them carefully. Those verses addressed effectively, but in simple terms, the Buddhist concept of death.

In Section 20 of the Dhammapada, Maggavagga : (The Path), there are four verses that seemed to speak of death:

286. Here shall I live during the rains, here in winter and summer” - thus thinks the fool. He does not realise the danger (that death might intervene).

287. As a great flood carries away a sleeping village, so death seizes and carries away the man with a clinging mind, doting on his children and cattle.

288. For him who is assailed by death there is no protection by kinsmen. None there are to save him - no sons, nor father, nor relatives.

289. Realising this fact, let the wise man, restrained by morality, hasten to clear the path leading to Nibbana.

These verses clearly call attention to our powerlessness when it comes to death. It sweeps through our lives, often without warning, and nothing can prevent it. They also point out how most people hide their heads in the sand, pretending death will never affect them, that this life will go on forever.

This idea is confirmed and expanded in Section 18: Malavagga: Impurity

237. Your life has come to an end now; you are setting forth into the presence of Yama, the king of death. No resting place is there for you on the way, yet you have made no provision for the journey!

238. Make an island unto yourself! Strive hard and become wise! Rid of impurities and cleansed of stain, you shall not come again to birth and decay

True nature

The Buddha has a fine understanding of our existence. It is the understanding that birth and death are notions. They are not real. The fact that we think they are true makes a powerful illusion that causes all our suffering.

The Buddha taught that if there is no birth, there is no death; if there is no coming, there is no going; if there is no permanent self, there is no annihilation. We only think there is. When we understand that we cannot be destroyed, we are liberated from fear. It is a great relief. We can enjoy life and appreciate it in a new way.

The same thing happens when we lose any of our beloved ones. The day my mother died I wrote in my journal, a serious misfortune of my life has arrived.

I suffered for more than one year after the passing away of my mother. But one night, while I was sleeping alone in the house, I dreamed of my mother. I saw myself sitting with her and we were having a nice chat. She looked young and beautiful, her hair flowing down. It was so pleasant to sit there and talk to her as if she had never died.

When I woke up, I felt very strong as if I had a sudden realisation. I understood that there is no life without death, and the accompanying grief is natural to the experience of death in all its forms. Finding the courage to accept loss and death, and to enter into the grief they bring, is a sacred act that allows us to participate in the deeper truth that, although evil and death are real, they are not ultimate.

The Buddha says life is suffering, caused by desire. To end the suffering, we must end desire. From a greater perspective, death causes pain because of our desire for life. We fear death because we hold on-to life.

Here, the folly of attachment is brought into the sharpest relief, because we know the body is as sure to die as it was born. Death is all around us. We will die and all the people we love will die. Understood this way, the only sensible course of action seems to be to seek that state where death cannot follow Nirvana, the state of being awake. This is how Buddhism addresses the issue of death, and it has an intuitive, practical logic to it.

Next life

You should face death, looking at it as an old friend who always is there to help you find a new body. If you have thoroughly trained your mind then you will face death with confidence. Any other context can lead to a death filled with pain, uncertainty, and anguish.

The road to the next life is one you have to travel alone. Even if you have 50 relatives and a 1,000 friends at your deathbed giving you comfort, they will be of no consequence at all when you die.

You have to go alone. It is only the person, whether religious or not, who accepts and embraces death in its right perspective that can live a truly spiritual life.