The importance of compassion

Compassion. One word that can change our lives - and even our world. Many of the problems that we face today, from war to famine, can be traced to a lack of compassion towards others. All the great religions in the world have focused on the importance of compassion.

You can be a compassionate person by the very nature of your upbringing, but the good news is that it can be easily cultivated if you are already not so compassionate. Compassion leads to happiness - for you and for the people you help. The way to achieve happiness through compassion may not lie just within yourself, but in your relationships and interactions with others.

A recent worldwide study found eight signs that show you are a truly compassionate person. The researchers found that humans’ sense of compassion actually increases when there's a common connection with the other person.

“What these results suggest is that the compassion we feel for others is not solely a function of what befalls them: if our minds draw an association between a victim and ourselves - even a relatively trivial one - the compassion we feel for his or her suffering is amplified greatly,” says study researcher and North-eastern University psychology Prof David DeSteno.

We have heard the saying “money does not buy happiness”. In fact, the study found that if you do not put emphasis on money at all times, you are likely to be more compassionate and indeed, happier. Today, the society is commercialised to such an extent that we do not have time for even little acts of kindness, such as helping an elderly person to cross the road. These acts of kindness do not involve any money at all and make you feel happy. It is time that we veered away from the relentless pursuit of money.

The research uncovered that a major component of compassion is giving back, even in the smallest ways. When we take actions that are caring and loving, we feel more love in return. This is why compassionate people act on their kindness. The lesson here is that even a little bit of generosity goes a long way. It is generally believed that when you give something, you will eventually get something in return. But then, those who really give with a kind heart do not expect anything in return.

Guidance

But giving is not limited to material things. You can give your time, knowledge, labour and guidance to another person. It might sound difficult to do this in a money-centred world where voluntary work often takes a back seat. But truly compassionate people want to impart their knowledge to others without expecting any material gain.

Another very important factor is self-compassion. Being kind to yourself is hard for most people - there are plenty of people who take their own lives sometimes for trivial things. We have often heard people say “I feel sorry about myself” whereas the correct attitude should be “I should be more kind to myself”. “Self-compassion is actually really, really key to becoming a more compassionate person overall,” Firestone says. “It's hard to feel for other people something we don't feel for ourselves. According to a separate study from the University of California, Berkeley, those who practice self-compassion are more motivated to improve themselves and go for their goals.

The study also identified ‘being mindful” as a trait of a compassionate person. Do you check your texts when another person speaks to you in person? Then you are not being compassionate. Compassionate people do not engage in such moves. They listen to what the other person has to say, giving the unfolding story their fullest attention. Unfortunately, most of us have little or no time to listen to others, even our family members. There are many families that sit in front of the television set while having meals, without even having a conversation. Listening to others is a hallmark of a “good” person and most of us fall short on this score. With a conscious effort, we can all be good listeners. Only if we listen to others will others listen to us, the day we also face trouble or difficulties. This is crucial to compassion because it allows you to really focus on others rather than your own reflections.

Intelligent

Most people are intelligent, but how many are emotionally intelligent? This brings us to another factor that helps you become a compassionate person. According to the study, Individuals who are tapped into their own compassion also seem to be tapped into their own emotions. In other words, you cannot be a kind person without being a bit emotional. If your heart does not melt if you see someone needing help, then something is missing in your life.

The study found that when you're emotionally intelligent, you also have a greater sense of morality and genuinely try to help others - which are all crucial components of empathy. The researchers concluded that compassionate people “understand that other people have a sovereign mind that sees the world differently than you do."

There are two words in the English language (and there is an equivalent in every language) that shows you appreciate what others have done for you - “thank you”. The simple act of expressing gratitude can make you a more compassionate person. Whether or not you've committed a lot of compassionate acts in your life, chances are you have been on the receiving end at least once or twice. Be thankful for those moments and those individuals.

If we are grateful to people who help us, others too will be grateful when we help them. Expressing gratitude does not cost any money and takes very little time but leaves a lasting impression. If we are kind to others, that will be the legacy by which we are remembered. If everyone becomes more compassionate towards others, most problems in the world would be solved and it will be a much better place to live in.