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Mehrunnisa:
A love story from Lahore
By Zeenat Mahal
[Chapter 22]
Mehru got up and left. She was still angry with Jamal. How could he
have done this to her? And then he went and did something so sweet and
wonderful, like talk with her father and grandmother to make sure they
understood her position. He didn’t have to…then why did he? Why would he
not forgive or forget but take time out every day to thaw Ami Begum’s
heart that had remained stone cold for twenty odd years.
He’d come to her grandmother and father, but he hadn’t come after
her, just like he said he wouldn’t. He hadn’t forgotten or forgiven, and
he certainly did not love her. Or he would’ve come after her wouldn’t
he?
Ever since she’d come back with her father two weeks ago, Jamal had
not returned to see her grandmother. He hadn’t even tried to contact
Mehru. That night, Mehru cried herself to sleep.
Remarks
For two weeks she’d heard and tolerated Sania’s smirking face, and
her snide remarks about her ‘broken marriage’ and it hurt her terribly.
Was her marriage broken after all? How could she live her life like
this? Why couldn’t he just have been a little sorrier? Why couldn’t he
just say he loved her too? And what if she was pregnant? Had he thought
of that? No, he hadn’t! Did he care about his unborn child?
No, he didn’t.
Anger and self-pity made her so miserable that she wrote a story
about it. She put all her fears of having to bring up Jamal’s imaginary
baby on her own, and how years later, the child, her son, would grow up
and find his father who would be very, very, sorry indeed that he’d hurt
his child’s mother…but it would be too late because by then Mehru would
be dead. Jamal would cry his heart out at her grave and shed tears of
remorse, but it wouldn’t matter—because she’d be dead!
That night Mehru didn’t cry.
Emotional debris
She felt better after having purged herself of all that emotional
debris. She needed to think about things. What she’d done to him had
been rather atrocious and cruel. Maybe, he deserved another chance?
Maybe, if he said he was sorry…really and truly sorry, she’d let him off
the hook because after all, she expected him to let her off the hook as
well.
But a week later, Mehru was in tears again. She’d turned her room
upside down but she still couldn’t find it. Her story of the baby had
disappeared. She was just a wee bit apprehensive about it.
Had she sent it along with the other story to the magazine for
publishing? She wasn’t sure. God, what if she had! What a terrible
fiasco! She had to stop it at all cost. She called the editor of the
magazine in panic...
He’d already run the story in this week’s issue…this morning.
Mehru’s heart was thumping in her chest wildly. What if Jamal read
it? What would he say? And when he’d find out that it was just another
lie…
‘Mehru…’
Whisper
It was a hoarse whisper. She turned, already dreading what she knew
to be true…and yes, there he was…Jamal was standing in her doorway,
looking…thrilled and his eyes shining and…oh no….oh no, he believed it!
‘Mehru?’ He smiled and came forward to her, took her face gently in
his hands, ‘I should’ve come sooner. It’s just…my pride was badly
injured…twice. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner…I know it was wrong of me
to go through your things. You were right. And this…I’m so happy.’
She was at a loss. His kiss was gentle, like all the promises he used
to make with his eyes before he thought she’d betrayed him.
‘I’m sorry, Mehru…I’m so sorry I hurt you. I was so hung up on what
you’d been saying and doing, I didn’t think about my own actions till
you pointed it out and then I just…
I didn’t want to make a fool of myself again, over you…but I’ve been
one all along. You know that don’t you?’
He kissed her like a starved man, held her so close, yet so gently,
as if she were made of glass. And he kept talking.
‘That first time you said you were having….someone else’s baby? That
was the most torturous night of my life. I couldn’t get the words out of
my head…and today when I read that story…your story…’
He kissed her again so passionately.
Mehru felt hysterical with pain at having to tell him…to break his
heart again. But then suddenly a brilliant scheme germinated and she
decided that she wouldn’t have to. They could make it true…
‘Jamal…I’m sorry too. I hurt you too badly…but let’s forget about all
that now…’
‘Mehru…I love you so much. I can’t stop thinking about you…haven’t
slept…’
‘I love you too, Jamal.’
‘I know…I love you so much, Mehru.’
She laughed and then, soon, when words weren’t enough Jamal showed
Mehru exactly how much he’d missed her.
Epilogue
‘It’s the beginning of your tenth month Mehru!’
‘Jamal will you relax? Sometimes babies come late.’
‘Not after ten months! We have to go to the doctor again.
They keep giving you the wrong due date. I’m going to call Dr. Rehana
myself to tell her that this is unacceptable…’
Quickly, she interrupted.
‘Jamal your calculation is wrong.’
‘It most certainly isn’t. It was September…that first time, and so…’
Mehru touched his cheek gently, ‘It’s okay.’
‘I’m calling the doctor right now. Such a delay could endanger your
life or the baby. I can’t risk that, Mehru.’
She stroked his cheek again and whispered, ‘Jamal…you’re not going to
like what I have to say, but you’ll have to remember that you love me
very, very much.’
Jamal sighed. ‘What did you do now?’
‘I lied.’
He looked at her with eyes narrowed and asked, ‘About what?’
She pouted and whispered, ‘My pregnancy.’
Jamal laughed his head off.
‘Seeing the size of you—not that you don’t look absolutely
beautiful—but I think we can both agree that that was not a lie.’
She looked up at him, her eyes watering. Her hormones were still
quite useful.
Weakness
‘I’m sorry. But don’t be cross with me about this?’
Jamal wiped her tears away and said gently, ‘I can’t be angry with
you…and we both know how much you manipulate my weakness.’
She chuckled through her tears, and then said, softly, rubbing her
head against his chest, as was her habit when she wanted to pacify him
and Jamal sighed.
‘See the thing is, when I wrote that story that brought you back
thinking I was pregnant…I wrote it because I was angry with you. You
should’ve made more of an effort with me, you see? And you didn’t, so I
was angry and I wrote that story thinking, you know, what if I was
pregnant? And then, totally by mistake…and this is important to remember
that it was totally by mistake…I sent it out with the others that had to
go for printing…’
Jamal fidgeted, trying to look at her face, ‘Mehru, what are you
saying?’ His voice was rising along with his colour.
‘Now, now, my love…we are having a baby…that’s for certain, as you so
rightly and very chivalrously pointed out…the only thing is, it isn’t
really even my ninth month yet.’
Jamal stared at her and asked very gravely, ‘Is that why you wouldn’t
let me go to the doctor with you, the last few times?’
She nodded, ‘It’s been very difficult you know…doing it all alone,
being sick and the hormones and the…’
She stopped at his thunderous look.
‘Tell me.’
‘Eighth still, I’m afraid…We’re three days into it.’
He sighed and let his head fall back on the couch. He’d been waiting
every day for the past one month for this baby and now he had to wait
nearly another two months. He raised his head and growled, ‘Mehru…’
Suddenly she winced and then she gasped, ‘Jamal…I feel sick…my back
hurts….I think…’
‘I’m not falling for this again, Mehru, so…’
‘Ahhhhh!’
Terrified
He sprang towards her, his heart sinking, looking terrified, ‘What’s
wrong? I’ll call the doctor…’
Mehru smiled at him and purred, ‘No…it’s okay I feel better already.’
Jamal’s expression changed from fear to relief to anger and then
resignation. Shaking his head as if in wonder, he said softly, ‘If it’s
a girl, I’m in trouble. I don’t think I could handle two of you.’
Mehru laughed, and their kisses were full of promises that both of
them had every intention of keeping for the rest of their lives.
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