The fragile bonds of civilised conduct

"Good conduct arises out of good doctrine." - John R.W. Stott

Evolving traits may have helped humans survive the unstable conditions, when humans walked the earth at the beginning.

However, the defining features of the human lineage may not have evolved together all at once, but piecemeal in stages over millions of years. Thus was born civilisation, progression by progression. Every civilisation carries within it, the seeds of its own destruction. So does every man and woman.

A civilisation is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy - government by the wealthy - and is eventually captured by a shoemaker, a thief, or the like who the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. My idea of civilisation is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelty, vanity, arrogance, meanness, and hypocrisy. Civilisation largely consists in hiding human nature.

When the barbarian learns to hide it, we account him enlightened. The only very marked difference between the average civilised man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.

The man or the woman in whom resides, greater virtue is the higher; neither the loftiness nor the lowliness of a person lies in the body according to the sex, creed, cast; but in the perfection of conduct and virtues. In fact, almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.

Thus, it is not only the stupidity of man to think he can live outside the fragile bonds of civilised conduct; but also persistent and aggravated imbecility to pretend he can live without any.

Choose

In fact, it is the beginning of wisdom when you recognise that the best you can do is choose which rules you want to live by; because the soul of man grows into lovely habits as easily as into ugly ones. Civilised conduct begins with trust: trust in the self; and once you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

When the fragile bonds of civilised conduct snaps, man becomes the devil. When he behaves in a civilised manner, he is loved by, all other men. The adoration of all will surround him like a shield that shimmers to reflect his singularly praiseworthy conduct. For instance, when you plant cabbage, if it does not grow well, you do not blame the cabbage.

You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertiliser, more water, or less sun. You never blame the cabbage. Yet if we have problems with our friends, family, or the neighbours; we blame the other person. Instead, if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well; like the cabbage. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.

Therefore, blame not, reason not, and argue not; just understand. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change. Negativity is not intelligence. It is always of the ego. The ego may be clever, but it is not intelligent. Cleverness pursues its own little aims. Intelligence sees the larger whole in which all things are connected. Cleverness is, motivated by self-interest; and it is extremely short sighted. Most politicians and business people are clever. Very few are intelligent.

Whatever attained through cleverness is short-lived; and always turns out to be eventually self-defeating. Cleverness divides; intelligence includes. Remember that our life is, made by the sacrifice and death of others; that nothing is evil that which is according to nature; and ultimately, all our knowledge has its origin in our perceptions.

Prepared

A man must be prepared to face life, as well as death. There is no escape from either. But, what defines his living moments is his conduct. Vulgarity and falsehood are the bane of good conduct. Humans have a global benchmark, a standard of conduct called humanity.

Dharma is the foundation of all human goals; and refers to obligations, conduct, moral duties. Every man has within him only one life and one nature. It behoves a man to look within himself and turn to the best dedication possible those endowments he has from his Maker.

You do no wrong in questioning what once you held to be right for you, if now it has come to seem wrong. Put away all thought of being, bound. No one would want you bound because no one who is not free can give freely.

If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself; if you are accompanied by even one companion, you belong only half to yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of the conduct of the other; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight.

He who has honour will hold himself to an ideal of conduct though it is inconvenient, unprofitable, or dangerous to do so. Remember, a reputation of a thousand years may depend upon the conduct of a single moment. Thus, it may be difficult, but conduct your self according to ethical principles. No one has ever been offended by, someone with good manners and courteous behaviour.

Culture

Morally excellent or admirable; virtuous; righteous; and having a high state of culture and social development is defined as civilised behaviour. Of all the properties that belong to honourable men, not one is so highly prized as that of character; and character is what you are in the dark. Happiness is not the end of life: character is; and a man's character is his fate. Character, in the long run is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike. No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character: be it of a person, or a nation. If you will think about what you ought to do for other people, your character will take care of itself.

Thus, what lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters, compared to what lies within us.

To exercise good character daily is to be morally fit for life. In fact, many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

It is our lives that teach us, who we are. Character cannot be, developed in ease and quiet; only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be, strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. One can acquire everything in solitude - except character.

The true test of a civilised nation is not the census, nor the size of its cities, nor the crops it produces; no, but the kind of man the country turns out, a man of character. Character reveals moral purpose, exposing the class of things a man chooses and avoids.

The things one does, determines the character of his life and no blessed person can become unhappy; because he will never do those things that are, hateful and petty. The best index, in fact to a person's character is, how he treats people who cannot do him any good, and how he treats people who cannot fight back.

For civilised conduct, character is condicio sine qua non: an indispensable and essential action, condition, and ingredient.

If we want our children to possess the traits of character we most admire, we need to teach them what those traits are and why they deserve both admiration and allegiance. Children must learn to identify the forms and content of those traits.

Thus, conviction is worthless unless it is, converted into conduct. The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character: that is the goal of true education.

Teach love, generosity, and good manners in the school. Some of that will drift from the classroom to the home; and who knows, the children will be educating the parents.

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