Safeguarding a mind that reshapes future

By Amal Hewavissenti

World Children's Day falls on October 1. On this day, most parents infuse their children with high expectations of life but lamentably become oblivious to their own duties to the emotional needs of the child.

At the same time, there are parents who are totally aware of the child's needs and practically fulfill them leaving no room for the child's confidence to collapse.

It is most important to remember that if the parents have family discords or conflicts and are far less concerned about solving them, the children would invariably fall victim to tragedies.

The children sometimes feel guilty of being the cause for family tragedy, sink into depression and develop indelible defects of personality.

A child who gets into low spirits due to loss of hope or loving care is most likely to develop negative mental conditions which undermine his total personality.

Strict punishment and harsh expressions of reproach would be a contributory cause for the child to become a social misfit. Parents who fail to tolerate the child's behaviour tend to mete out severe punishment on him totally ignoring the level of his mental capacity.

It is definitely beyond the child's capacity to accept things he detests or disagrees with.

If the kind of punishment continues for a fairly long time, he will inevitably end up in complete loss of hope.

Moreover, strict control or coercion from teachers, parental bans and taboos together with baseless blaming can lead a child to react negatively.

The special emotional bond which parents maintain with a selected favourite in the family, directly affects the 'discounted' child who gradually realises that he is a family outcast.

Such a child generally manifests a sense of pessimism in practically everything, lethargy, destructive motives and a marked aversion to entertaining activities. So, it is best to work with a child in a way that positively influences and promotes his personality.

Dangerous competition

Apart from this, children are plunged in to trouble under the ever increasing competition of education. Naturally, a child inherits intelligence from his parents or acquires it from personal experiences both in the family and society.

This rewards him with the basic ability to blend into his surroundings.

Parents are to create a simple atmosphere for children to develop intelligence rather than involving them in boundlessly competitive education. This intense competition may ultimately damage his creativity, originality, taste and initiative.

As adults, we know the priceless quality of praise, admiration, love and kindness in its capacity to help a child develop his self confidence. Some parents mindlessly compare the child with another child who displays an exceptional talent and thereby inflict a permanent damage on his self reliance and initiative.

The parents' tone may give him the impression that he is being rated far less important than that particular child.

The affection, the sense of safety and warmth that come from parents make the child snuggle on the lap of the family.

Here, he is immensely happy to notice that his parents stand by him catering to his emotional and physical needs.

Healthy ties

The healthy relationship which the child builds with his parents is the unmistakable foundation on which he bases his relationship with the society.

However, the parents should be skill full enough to read the moods of the child and adjust themselves to accommodate him.

A healthy child bred up in the ideal family background is likely to conjure up a fantastic world that boosts his creative thinking and expression.

Many try to become exemplary parents by feeding their children with expensive food rather than giving food to nourish positive emotions.

Educationists point out that nothing promotes a child's tendency to learn more than listening to stories told by the parents.

On the other hand, some are over protective of their children with little understanding of the child's abilities and the value of allowing him to act independently.

Sometimes the family may do everything for the child. This is extremely harmful to his development because every child has the right to carry on with his unique decision to be independent and creative. Another ugly feature of the child - parent relationship is the separation of a child from the parents under reasonable or unreasonable circumstances.

He may become an emotional wreck if he is left, for the most part of the day, to the cane of an un-responsive or harsh guardian or a domestic servant while the parents are away.

The chances of anxiety springing from such separation can be narrowed down if the child gets an opportunity to associate with others familiar to him at home.

It is the skill on the part of parents that determines whether a child would become a blessing or a menace to the society.

The mind of a child is fragile and an apparently unimportant word or action may permanently damage his initiative and originality.

There should be a fair degree of control over their activities.

But intimidation, coercion and harsh reproaches will not only undermine his development as a person but also give birth to antisocial tendencies in him.

Therefore, children's day should not be a mere day of multiple celebrations but a day to raise awareness of the value of nourishing the mind of the child.