Being Nice ... is the best way to get ahead
by Siobhan Harmer
The best portion of a
good man’s life – his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness
and love.
~William
Wordsworth
Being Nice! What does it mean to be nice? The Oxford Dictionary
defines ‘nice’ as the act of giving pleasure or satisfaction to others
or as possessing qualities such as a good-nature and kindness.
As children we are often told that being nice will benefit us more
than being naughty, and that it is the right thing to do. If we’re
naughty or selfish then we aren’t rewarded with praise and so most us
learn that being compassionate and considerate will get us further.
Research from the University of Buffalo has even suggested that we
are born with the ability to experience and spread kindness is in our
DNA. They found that many of us are born with specific receptors in our
brains that react to oxytocin and vasopressin; two hormones closely
associated with our ability to feel love and generosity.
Meanwhile, a 2005 study conducted by the Hebrew University in Israel
found that acts of kindness are linked to a gene that released the
feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine in our brains.
However,
as we grow up and enter the adult world being nice begins to take on
different connotations. Often, being nice is not seen as a personality
trait required of a strong leader or a capable team member. We’ve all
heard the phrase “nice guys finished last” and many of us are guilty of
judging genuinely lovely people as a little soft, insecure and even
naive.
But being nice does not mean being weak or a pushover, it does not
mean avoiding confrontation or never voicing concerns.
Not only is being nice the right thing to do, it’s also the smart
thing to do. By spreading kindness you are scientifically proven to have
crucial qualities that others lack, thereby increasing your success
throughout life. Here are a couple so you can use your nice nature to
get ahead!
You’re happier and nicer to be around
Although it may support the idea that there is no such thing as a
selfless good deed, spreading kindness will almost always make you
happier. Professor Sonja Lyubovairsky of the University of California
conducted a social experiment in which volunteers were asked to perform
random acts of kindness over the space of 10 weeks.
The results showed that those who had performed a variety of tasks
scored significantly higher on the happiness scales than those who
shared less kindness. Professor Stephen Post, author of Why Good Things
Happen To Good People, says: “a strong correlation exists between the
wellbeing, happiness and health of people who are kind. It’s difficult
to be angry, resentful, or fearful when one is showing unselfish love
towards another person.”
This reaction is due to the chemical make-up of our brain that occurs
whenever we do something nice. In a Psychology Today blog post, clinical
psychologist Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D. wrote: “when we help others and do
kind acts, it causes our brain to release endorphins – the chemicals
that give us feelings of fervour and high spirits – similar to a
‘runner’s high. Doing something nice for someone also gives the brain a
serotonin boost, the chemical that gives us that feeling of satisfaction
and well-being.”
Of course, there are few qualities that create a more pleasant
working environment than happiness.
When you show sincere kindness to your fellow workers or your
employees you are much more likable, whilst offering support, optimism
and a sense of community to everyone around you.
Professor Dacher Keltner, of the University of California-Berkeley
and co-director of the Greater Good Science Center, told ABC News:
“People trust you more, they have better interactions with you, you even
get paid better.”
Better mental and physical health
We all know that in order to be successful we must first be able to
function, and nothing brings us down faster than being ill. Fortunately,
kindness is perhaps the quickest way to promote good health.
In 1991, Allen Luks’ book The Healing Power Of Doing Good reported
that nice people experience a physical sensation when being kind that
left them warmer, energised, calm and with a greater sense of
self-worth. Luks has since named this feeling the ‘Helpers’ High’.
“Regular ‘helpers’ are 10 times more likely to be in good health than
people who don’t volunteer,” he says. “There’s an actual biochemical
explanation: volunteering reduces the body’s stress and also releases
endorphins, the brain’s natural painkillers.”
As our brain releases these hormones we also relax our nervous and
cardiovascular systems. When oxytocin is released it binds to the lining
in our blood vessels and dilates our arteries, thereby reducing our
blood pressure.
Studies have also shown that those of us who are more actively
compassionate have a more energetic Vagus Nerve. The Vagus Nerve is the
longest nerve in the body and plays a huge role in keeping our
cardiovascular systems healthy.
Your business is more likely to succeed
Back in 2011, Forbes’ Natalie Peace studied the impact kindness would
have on her small business and found incredibly uplifting results.
“A little while ago, I initiated a campaign called ‘22 Days of
Kindness’ at the three Booster Juice businesses I owned then” she
writes.
“I paid all 50 of my staff members to do shifts where their only duty
was to perform random acts of kindness: giving flowers to strangers,
washing windows for neighbouring businesses, and generally going out of
their way to brighten someone’s day.”
By the end of the 22 days staff said they had loved the experience
and that they felt good and filled with pride.
At work, Peace’s employees were much more motivated and productive,
whilst they received a remarkable amount of the applications from the
public.
(Siobhan Harmer is a video game, coffee and travel lover from
England. Although she is the human equivalent of a sloth, Siobhan
sometimes writes things, most of which you can find on her blog There
You Are Sibby) |