tao of Dana :

The art of getting what you want

Want. It seems to be the call of life. Everyone is in want. Everyone wondering what they can get. There is disappointment that the want wasn’t met. Wondering what other people want. Waiting to get what you want before you give.

What is wrong with this picture?

If you are sitting and wanting you aren’t going or making or giving.

That’s what’s wrong.

And we’ve all done it. If you are honest with yourself- as honest as possible- you may see you are doing it now, too.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine you don’t give and take within your body to have health, you just flow. There aren’t walls.

There aren’t artificial rules. There’s a very basic rhythm to life and things move with that rhythm or they get stuck and things go bad.

When things go bad, that’s stagnation.

Wanting first before giving – wanting the apology, wanting the payday, wanting the proclamation of love, wanting the gifts without caring from who they come- is a form of stagnation.

Today is all about the art of getting what you want in a way that isn’t a no-win battle.

Some people won’t give their all to a job before the job gives them what they want first.

I hear all about the injustices, the “I’m not gonna spend an extra minute on this until I have more money… a better title… on and on.”

Why is it common to expect things first, before giving them?

In relationships, its not uncommon to hear that people won’t love until they get what they want from another person, whether its time, commitment, money… you name it. How could any self-respecting person wildly proclaim love to someone who won’t share it, too? Those people will not love at all in my experience, at least not easily and not without some sort of personal awakening.

Sadly, I’ve been both of these people. Have you?

If you need to be 100% validated and 100% certain and 100% have what you want before you will give, I feel your pain. It sucks to be stuck. It’s a bad feeling to know that the only way you will be happy is to get something.

It’s also a dead end.

It’s stagnation.

It goes nowhere.

I’ve come to realize that flow is an art. It’s seeing the walls, the rules, the far, and flowing past them.

It’s working anyway. It’s loving anyway.

You want to get more of what you want, give what you want.

If you are doing things that are right and real its not a burden to give. Its joy. It’s illuminating.

You may not always get back what you want, but you also won’t crumble in fear, staying small and feeling like a victim.

If you think you are already giving so much, here’s the art of it all: If you are truly giving from a place of real love and presence, you don’t need anything back.

I’m not talking about being a martyr or sacrificing your life to an awful situation… I’m talking about staying open, creating what you want and moving forward from there, all in calm flow.

Yin and yang are a big part of feng shui.

They are not just opposites, they contain each other. In darkness there is light and in light there is darkness.

So, to get what you want you’ll find it as you give and stop wanting.

I’ve never seen a person earnestly and unselfishly loveothers that didn’t find or have great love.

I’ve yet to meet a person who put their heart and soul into all their work endeavors big and small and didn’t emerge a leader in some way, and a personal success as they’ve defined it for themselves.

Don’t wait to get. Give and give.