Shanthinie’s double renunciation

by Davidson Goonetilleke

Shanthinie too was a bank officer like myself attached to a state bank and following the same weekend post graduate course I was following at the university. She was a lean and fair, well featured girl with long hair. Though simply dressed without any make up she looked pleasant and appealing. As she kept to herself and thoughtful our batch mates, specially girls, misunderstanding her for a proud and snobbish girl, began to boycott her. But from the very day I saw her I took a great liking for her and began to admire her. In spite of all my attempts to make her understand that I was interested in her she always tried to convince me that she was not prepared for such an affair.

Excitement

One evening when I was about to get into my usual bus I saw Shanthinie running to get into the same bus. Without getting in I stood at the entrance with one foot on the footboard as the bus was about to move on. She, in her excitement to step on the footboard trampled her own saree and got a slipper entangled with the saree. In her struggle to get it disentangled she dropped the slipper.

At the same time somebody rang the bell. The bus began to move slowly. Sensing that she was in a precarious situation I instinctively held her fast to prevent her from falling.

Seeing this threatening scene, the passengers screamed and rang the bell to stop the bus. Though the bus stopped she could not get in as her saree had come loose and needed adjustments.

She was in a hysterical state too, sobbing and shedding tears. I took her bag and helped her walk to the bus halt to get her saree adjusted. While arranging her saree she began telling her life story.

“Chinthaka, I wanted to tell you that I am a very unlucky girl. My beloved mother died when I was ten and my father a school principal, without marrying a second time, looked after me like his only treasure. Now my aim is to look after him well and when he is no more, join a Buddhist Nunnery and lead a religious life to gain spiritual freedom.”

Hearing her story, I began to relate mine.

“Shanthinie, I think that you are luckier than I am, because both my beloved mother and father had died in a car accident when I was just an infant of six months, leaving me in the hands of my mother’s sister who had adopted me like her own and had devoted her whole life for me without even getting married. Now she leaves no stone unturned to find a suitable girl for me to marry and lead a happy life.

Hearing my story, she ceased her sobbing and weeping and looked directly at my face in bewilderment and without a word became thoughtful. So, when the next bus came we got in and getting down at Kollupitiya junction, she thanked me and went to her Kalutara bus while I, with a confused mind, walked to my boarding house.

The next weekend I was surprised to see Shanthinie with a welcoming smile waiting for me near the university gate. Though her unexpected change was bewildering, I, without showing my curiosity, walked with her to the lecture hall. That was how we became friends and later lovers and with the consent of our elders we agreed to marry.

With the motive of celebrating our wedding in a new house I applied for a bank loan and started building a modern house. When the building construction was going on half way, I was informed by the bank that I had been selected for a scholarship to study banking for one year in U.K.

In spite of my unwillingness to go to U.K. leaving Shanthinie behind, she, jointly with her father and my mother, insisted that I should not let go of such a rare opportunity and they compelled me to accept the offer. So, opening a joint account with her to enable her to withdraw the proceeds of the loan and attend to the building construction, I left for U.K.

Replied

I made it a habit to write to her weekly and she too replied all my letters promptly.

But at the ninth month in U.K. she did not reply my letters for about three weeks. When I made enquiries I was informed that her father had died and after attending to the seventh day almsgiving she had gone to a Buddhist nunnery leaving everything to a caretaker.

The news of her disappearance came to me like a bolt from the blue. Leaving everything I rushed back home. I was met by two of my friends at the airport and with them I went directly to her house where the caretaker handed me a letter addressed to me.

“Dear Chinthaka,

“I very humbly write to inform you that when my beloved father died I felt so lonely and desperate that I had no alternative but to seek relief in a nunnery renouncing everything including the dwelling house, ancestral jewellery and my savings in your favour to enable you to lead a happy life. Please try to understand and pardon me for taking this step. Please contact my lawyer Mrs. Perera who will advise you.

“Wishing you a happy and long life,

“Yours sincerely,

Shanthinie.”

I can faintly remember that when I finished reading her letter I was feeling a faint followed by a dizziness.

Injection

As I was feeling very thirsty, calling my mother several times, tried to get up. But to my dismay, I found myself in a strange place. Hearing me an elderly doctor with his stethoscope in hand and followed by a nurse in green uniform rushed to my bed saying, “Chinthaka, we are happy to see you coming round. Today is your third day hospital. Be quiet like a good boy. You can go to your mother in a day or two.”

When I complained of terrible thirst a nurse poured some water with some pills into my mouth. As I was feeling sleepy I closed my eyes to sleep again. Sending somebody feeling my hand I, thinking that a nurse is preparing to give an injection, closed my eyes tight and awaited patiently. But instead of the pain of an injection I was feeling some drops of warm water falling on my hand. In surprise when I opened my eyes and looked up I saw Shanthinie’s face with fully shaven head and tearing eyes, yes, peeping at me. She was attempting to hold back her sobbing.

“Shanthinie, what happened to your beautiful hair?” I asked.

Relief

“Pardon me, Chinthaka. When my father died I felt so lonely and desperate that I was compelled to seek relief in a nunnery. I did not want to be a burden to you too. So leaving everything to you, I became a nun to lead a peaceful life. I never thought that you loved me so much.

But when I heard that you had fallen ill and suffering in hospital at the mercy of strangers I decided to leave the nunnery too and look after you and your helpless mother. Chinthaka, how can I lead a peaceful life in the nunnery when I know that you are suffering?

Now, I sincerely promise to be with you to the very end taking care of you and your beloved mother. Please try to recover soon to enable me to take you home and attend to you,” she said, trying to hold back her sobbing.

But seeing my tearing eyes she again began to sob and weep loudly. The matron in charge of the I.C.U. hearing her rushed at her saying.

“Madam, can’t you understand that your patient is very ill. Please go out now without making his condition worse”.

Shanthinie, very reluctantly withdrawing her hand from mine went out, still sobbing and wiping her tears.