When Is Getting Mad A Good Thing?
My reputation as a purveyor of calm and happy is now pretty
entrenched in what I do… But there are times when saying “It’s all good”
and turning a blind eye and ignoring big problems for the sake of calm
is not what I consider to be healthy.
Are you OK with getting angry sometimes?
While anger as your daily emotion is pretty universally destructive,
if you think about it… anger is a human emotion that, at times, is very
useful.
I’ve been holding in a lot- way too much- injustice lately (well, not
just lately, but intensely, lately)- and one such a feat of injustice
finally set off alarms in my body today. Alarms that had me doing
research for hours. Alarms that have moved me to major action.
Alarms that had me to go for an enormous hike this afternoon, one
that will bring me so much more than the momentary rush of anger has
taken from me. So, I’m finally so sick of it that I finally got mad
enough to make sure I make it end.
Complaining, venting and feeling hurt and frustrated… all of those
things aren’t bad in themselves for a moment… but if you need to break
out of a bad thing, and just sit around venting, nothing will change.
That’s not productive, you know? You become the person sucking the air
out of the room.
Sometimes
you need anger, because a little anger can break you out of a haze. It
can shake up your world in positive ways.
Just channel that anger productively, use the rush of energy to your
advantage, and it’s just another emotion, albeit one charged with the
kind of force that it can be used for good…or for not good.
Today, it’s about anger used for good purposes.
You can’t drop me in New York and New Jersey for a week and expect me
to come back to LA as a pushover, can you?!
PsyBlog reported on The Upside Of Anger:
“That’s the wonder of human emotions: happy isn’t always good and
angry isn’t always bad (although it may feel that way). An unhappy
person is also more likely to spot mistakes and an angry person is
highly motivated to act. We need reminding that even scary and dangerous
emotions have their upsides, as long as they are used for the correct
purpose.”
I couldn’t have said it better, and THIS whole piece is illuminating
about positive anger.
If you are sitting right now in a situation you know is wrong you can
either internalize it all and let it create fear inside (I almost
stopped writing the blog for a while, a few months back because of
plagarism that I didn’t want to confront— then I finally did confront
it!) or you can really face things head on.
I pop out of anger quite quickly when I take action. It’s when I hold
it in that the evils take over:
* fear
* confusion
* no motivation
* self-doubt
* shelving your art
Don’t let these things grip you. Let yourself get angry if you need
to get angry if that’s what it takes to get to a place where change
happens.
Sure it’s not elegant. It’s also not productive to scream and yell
and throw things. But it is productive to let yourself feel things
completely you know?
Some people say anger is not “evolved” and that it’s never good. I
disagree.
It isn’t un-spiritual to get angry in my mind.
It isn’t “crazy” to get mad.
And anger definitely isn’t something we do that doesn’t help us. In
fact, we get angry to protect ourselves and survive, and THIS awesome
video breaks down lots of the science behind it.
That said, you can avoid huge explosions of anger if you are more
present and self-expressed and not “letting things slide” that build up
for a long time….
But in this imperfect world, if you need to finaly get a little mad,
let yourself do it. Anger is one of the stages of grief, too. Elizabeth
Kubler-Ross set forth these stages of grieving the loss of a loved one,
and they tend to apply to grieving everything, including losing a job or
moving from a home… Dramatically changing reality usually involves a
little grief.
Grief includes anger sometimes. So, why deny this is a part of life?
Anger can be part of healing. It’s only helped me when I’ve gotten
mad and used it to fuel my art, used it to drive research, to dig deeper
into a relationship, to become more clear for myself… To confront things
head-on.
That said: before you head-on confront things though, you might want
to calm down!
Right now I’m boiling some water to make a big glass of Natural Calm
(my favourite magnesium drink, I talk about it here in this piece on
eliminating hidden stress), taking an aromatherapy-filled shower and
hitting the rest of my day with an illuminated sense of purpose.
After all, why get angry to stay angry? Get angry for a minute if you
must (or a while, just not a long intense while…!) and let it chart your
course to rise above that anger and into a feeling of super-clarity and
solutions! |