You are what you think...

by Lionel Wijesiri

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Quite often when we're going through a challenging time, or we're just plain miserable, we invariably get the advice to just 'think positively!' For most of us, it's difficult to figure out exactly what that means.

We might ask ourselves: Does it mean to deny our pain or discomfort? Should we pretend everything is alright?

It is not easy to answer these questions. If you seek the assistance of a psychiatrist, instead of offering you answers, he might also ask you a further question.

Do you see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty? This is a scientific question because researchers are now scrutinising the power of positive thinking. A fast-growing body of research is proving that optimism can help you to be happier, healthier and more successful. Pessimism leads, by contrast, to hopelessness, sickness and failure.

The following true story illustrates how this power works:

Two known youths approached me after their university graduation seeking assistance to secure employment opportunities as Management Trainees.

I made some enquiries and found out that there were two vacancies in a company known to me. I requested the youths to submit applications. Few weeks later, I came to know that only one applicant has been selected for the job. Out of sheer curiosity I made some investigations to check what has gone wrong.

Let us call these two young men as A and B. Both are equally qualified but beyond that similarity, there were vast differences.

The self-esteem of A was low, and he considered himself as a failure and unworthy of success. He had a negative attitude toward himself, and therefore, his mind was occupied with negative thoughts.

For the whole week preceding the job interview, he actually anticipated failure. During the interview, he was tense, negative, and worried and possibly, did not impress the interviewers.

B approached the matter in a different way. He had a positive outlook on life. During the week preceding the interview, he often visualized himself making a good impression and getting the job. In the evening before the interview, he prepared all his documents, and went to sleep a little earlier. B made a good impression and got the job.

What do we learn from this story? Was there any magic used? No, everything happened in a natural way.Your abilities count, but the belief that you can succeed affects whether or not you will. In part, that's because optimists and pessimists deal with the same challenges and disappointments in very different ways.

We're creatures of habit. We tend to follow the picture in our minds created by our parents, our neighbourhoods, our towns and the part of the world from which we come. For good or for bad.

But we don't have to. We each have a mind of our own, capable of imagining life the way we want it. Start imagining your life the way you want it. Create a picture in your mind and think about that picture steadfastly all day long. Believe in it.

Break it

Pessimism is a hard habit to break. Yet, it can be done. Here is how, says Steve Hollon, Professor of Psychology at Vanderbilt University, USA

(1) Accept that you are here to grow and evolve. Life doesn't always go smoothly. Not everything is meant to be a joyride or exercise in pleasure. If you see failures as opportunities to become stronger, wiser and more resilient, you are thinking positively and productively.

(2) Learn to turn lemons into lemonade. Look for the lessons to be learned in every situation. Learn how to avoid falling into the same traps and making the same mistakes. By doing so, you will undoubtedly be the better for it. As James Joyce said: "A man's errors are his portals of discovery."

(3) Believe in yourself. Know that you have what it takes to succeed. Your dreams and goals are an indication where your talents lie and where your true potential is.

Needless to say, you must develop your inherent gifts; however, recognize that you have a unique contribution to make.

(4) Acquire perseverance. When you possess a positive thinking mind-set you never give up. You pursue your dreams, your goals and objectives with everything you've got and you don't settle for anything less. That's not to say you won't have roadblocks and various setbacks along the way. It just means that you won't let them stop you!

Small Steps

You can start making different choices in line with these tips. You can take small steps in the right direction. Naturally, you'll also encounter obstacles. Don't let these obstacles stop you.

If you hold your picture of the life you want steadfast in your mind, you will eventually create that life.