After the fall
 "It
has always seemed that a fear of judgment is the mark of guilt and the
burden of insecurity." - Criss Jami, author of Killosophy and other
books is the lead singer of the rock band Venus in Arms based in
Washington, D.C. He is also a poet, essayist, existentialist
philosopher, and the founder and designer of Killosopher Apparel. He
studied philosophy at George Mason University, USA.
The universe judges all men, not by their fall or failing; but by
what they do after the fall. Everything may be changed after the fall.
Nothing of the same may exist but for the throb and fret between their
temples; though, underneath it all, they remain perfectly healthy. Yet,
even after the fall, not many would have the courage to accept their
imperfections, their failings: the very cause of their fall. They may
literally feel gutted, hollowed out as if someone has removed the core
of their being; but will not have the courage to accept their
imperfections and their failings: the very cause of their fall. Instead,
they would, like patients in the final stage of dementia, their life
winding down with each labored breath; revert to an almost neonatal
state; their brains and body atrophied.
Eve
They will continue to breathe and digest, suck and spout; yet not
accept for lack of courage, their imperfections, and their failings: the
very cause of their fall. They will continue to function; but only at
the most basic level, their existence a little more than a collection of
primitive reflexes; and yet, will not have the courage to accept their
imperfections, and their failings: the very cause of their fall.
Instead, they will believe that all pain is, erased in the passage of
time. As time passes, it would be as if nothing had ever happened; no
relics, no scars; for emotions fade and leave no trace; and memories
become inanimate. Suddenly though, after a while, or lesser than a
while, a sense of courage will bloom with a false, but primal courage.
Yet, they will see not their earlier imperfections, their failings: the
very cause of their original fall.
Like Eve after the fall leaving Eden for a land unknown, feeling less
than her self, befallen, betrayed; the fallen will attempt to venture
forth; yet lack the courage to accept their imperfections, their
failings: the original cause of their fall. A fall is like, a surrender.
One cannot help it, one did not plan it; may be one could have been more
careful and seen the imperfections, the failings; but one also needs
courage to accept them, and overcome them to the best of one's
abilities. After all, courage is, rightly esteemed as the first of human
qualities because it is the one quality, which guarantees all others.
Yet, men, and especially men in power, are never convinced of reasons,
of sincerity, of the seriousness of sufferings; and so they fall,
seeking refuge in doubt and skepticism; not courage.
Yet, the encouraging thing about human qualities is that every time,
after the fall, you meet a situation; you may think, at that time, that
it is an impossibility to overcome the situation. Hence, you go through
the tortures of the damned; but once you have met it, met the situation,
and lived through it, you begin to believe that you are freer than you
ever were before, that you can now gather strength from distress, and
grow brave by reflections.
Acknowledgment
However, unless there is true repentance, honest acknowledgment of
your weaknesses, your follies, and the reasons for your fall; you tend
to think and gain a false strength, an unfounded courage, confidence,
and think you are now able to stop and look fear of the fall in the
face. That through the courage that has returned, you can now make your
way prosperous, and have success. There is nothing further from the
truth; because, being unrepentant, if you fail or falter anywhere along
the line, it will for sure take away your confidence; and a repeat fall
is certain.
There is nothing in the world so much admired as a man who knows how
to bear unhappiness with courage. Courage is not a thing limited to the
battlefield or the gaining of an Olympic medal or bravely catching a
thief in your house.
The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are the inner tests,
like remaining faithful even when nobody is looking, like trusting in a
cause when others have deserted it, like enduring pain when the room is
empty, like standing alone when you are misunderstood. The greatest
human glory is not in never knowing unhappiness or sorrow; not in never
falling or failing; but in rising again; again, and again if need be,
after each fall; and in facing the truth of every situation with courage
and honesty. The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and
grace, making the best of circumstances.
Mistress
There is an old joke about a man who buys a cookbook for his wife and
a negligee for his mistress. Somehow-though, the two parcels get mixed
up. The man fears the worst: that all will be lost; that his fall at
last and at both ends is near. On the contrary, both women are
delighted: the wife is thrilled to be, viewed in a sexual manner after
years of domestic tedium; the mistress overjoyed that her lover finally
considers her as more than just a body. The problem resolved itself
better than the man thought, only because he had the courage to face the
situation. Thus, what separates the winners from the losers is how a
person faces up to each new twist of fate.
The human desire for safety stands against every great and noble
enterprise. That is the reason why all transactions of preeminent
importance are, wrapped in doubt and obscurity. That is also the reason
why some hold for certain facts, the most precarious hearsays, while
others turn facts into falsehood in seeking popularity. The result is
that both will be, exaggerated by posterity. It is the same with
principles: that which in present times is, supported as principles,
will hereafter become enlarged and aggrandized principles. In the
age-old contest between popularity and principle, only those willing to
lose for their convictions are deserving of posterity's approval - not
those whose convictions are, based on the lust for power.
This ought to be so because lust of absolute power is, more burning
than all the passions; and those that are, burnt by the lust for power
may not see what is right; and even if they did, will not do the right
things for want of courage. To trust in such persons is dangerous to the
great enterprise of a nation. Never mistake motion for action, activity
for achievement. One cannot plough a field by merely turning it over in
one's mind. Remember that, a promise is a cloud; fulfillment is rain. An
idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain
cell it occupied. Therefore, let the achievements and actions, past as
well as present, of men be the best interpreters of their thoughts.
Judge them not by the intentions they proclaim.
Cower
Well-matured and well-disciplined men are always sure of a place in
the affairs of the nation, provided they exert themselves; and not cower
and expect to be, sought after. There is a good deal of cant, too, in
the whining about the success of forward and impudent men, while men of
standing and worth are, passed over with neglect. It happens often that
those forward men have that valuable quality of promptness and activity.
However, a barking dog may at times be more useful than a sleeping lion;
but the wise do not buy into other people's perceptions of who they are
and what they are capable of. Instead, they bypass a person's public
persona and see who they are in their highest expression. When you see
actions taken with integrity, instead of words only, you will then know
a soul's worth.
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