Decoding depression

Though public understanding of depression has improved somewhat over the years, we as a society still frequently misunderstand or overlook depression and its symptoms.

Because of the continuing stigma, we don't always recognize when people in our lives are struggling with this illness. Worse, too many people go undiagnosed because of erroneous assumptions about how depression manifests and what to look for.

We need to unlearn the assumption that suffering is always clearly visible to us, so that we can better understand and help those who struggle with illnesses that go unseen. Here are some signs that someone might have hidden depression.

They might not 'look depressed'

Due to media and cultural stereotypes, most of us have assumptions about how someone behaves and looks if they're struggling with depression. We imagine someone who rarely leaves their room, doesn't dress themselves well, and constantly looks miserable, but people with depression do not all behave in the same way. Many are able to keep up a facade of good mental health to protect themselves, but they aren't suffering any less simply because they can do this.

They may often seem exhausted or complain about always being tired

A prevalent side effect of depression is constant exhaustion. Not everyone with the disorder struggles with it, but it's extremely common. For those who experience this symptom with their depression, it's often one of the hardest side effects to cope with. Also, if someone is living with an undiagnosed depression disorder, the cause of their exhaustion can be baffling. They can get plenty of sleep each night and still wake up every morning feeling like they only slept a few hours. Worse, they may blame themselves, believing it to be laziness or some other personal fault that's causing their low energy levels.

They can be unusually irritable

A depressed person's behaviour might be interpreted as melancholy even if that's not what they're really feeling. Irritability is a frequently overlooked symptom of depression that is also very common. This should be understandable, since depression is a health problem you can't 'see' or strictly measure, making it hard to combat. The constant work it takes to keep up all the necessary aspects of life while dealing with depression also drains the person, and leaves little room for patience or understanding.

They could have a tough time responding to affection and concern

The main misconception about depression, is that it's about 'feeling' sad. On the contrary, depression is mostly not feeling anything, or only partially and briefly experiencing emotions. It depends on the individual, but some people with depression report feeling almost 'numb', and the closest thing to an emotion they experience is a kind of sadness and/or irritation. Because of this, appropriately responding to gestures or words of affection will be difficult for them, or they just don't think about it any more.

They may even get irrationally irritated or annoyed with you over it, because it may simply be too difficult for their brains to process and respond to your loving gestures.

They might frequently turn down activities they used to love or would otherwise enjoy

Unless other explanations could equally be possible, an uncharacteristic lack of interest in activities over an extended period of time could be a sign that someone has depression. Depression is just as physically draining as it is mentally draining, which makes enjoying all the things you usually do difficult.

They can develop abnormal eating habits

Abnormal eating habits mainly develop for two reasons: as a form of coping, or as a side effect of lack of self-care. Eating too little or too much is a common sign of depression.

Overeating is often shamed the most, when food can be the one source of pleasure a depressed person is able to give themselves and thus causes them to eat excessively. When a depressed person is eating too little, it's often because their depression is affecting their appetite and making eating unappealing.

It can also be a subconscious need to control something, since they cannot control their depression.

They may start needing more from you

A depressed person legitimately can't function like a mentally health person.

There will be things they will no longer be able to do as much of, as often, or at all. Pestering or shaming them about it will only hurt, not help. If they've been keeping their depression private, it will be that much harder to deal with others getting irritated with them because they can't perform at the level that's expected of mentally healthy people.

They can have bad days, and 'better' days

Depression can have its ups and downs. If someone has hidden or undiagnosed depression, they might seem like they get random mood swings, depending on if their depression is consistent or not. To you (and to them, if they are undiagnosed), the changes in mood seem without cause, but it's simply how some people's depression manifests.

- positivity blog