No
words needed
Using body language to make 'em like you:
There's no question that body language is important. And if you go by
what Leil Lowndes says in her book 'How To Talk To Anyone', you can
capture - and hold - anyone's attention without saying a word.
So how do you go about doing it? We've selected the best
body-language techniques from the book as a starter. So here goes.
The Flooding Smile
"Don't flash an immediate smile when you greet someone," says
Lowndes. If you do, it appears as if anyone in your line of sight would
receive that same smile.
Instead, pause and look at the other person's face for a second, and
then let a 'big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and
overflow into your eyes'.
Even though the delay is less than a second, it will convince people
your smile is sincere and personalized for them. According to Lowndes, a
slower smile can add more richness and depth to how people perceive you.
Sticky Eyes
"Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner's with
sticky warm taffy," Lowndes advises. Even after they've finished
speaking, don't break eye contact. "When you must look away, do it ever
so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny string
finally breaks."
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You can also try counting your conversation partner's blinks. In a
case study, subjects reported significantly higher feelings of respect
and fondness for their colleagues who used this technique.
Epoxy Eyes
In a group of people, you should occasionally look at the person you
are interested in, no matter who else is talking. If your attention is
drawn to that person even when they are simply listening, you show that
you are extremely interested in his or her reactions.
Be warned - using full Epoxy Eyes can be a bit overwhelming to the
subject and could leave them feeling uncomfortable. You should primarily
watch the speaker, but allow your glance to bounce to your target when
the speaker finishes interesting points.
The Big-Baby Pivot
People are very conscious of how you react to them. When you meet
someone new, turn your body fully toward them and give them the same,
undivided attention you would give a baby. Lowndes says, "Pivoting 100%
toward the new person shouts, 'I think you are very, very special.'"
Limit The Fidget
If you want to appear credible, try not to move too much when your
conversation really matters.
"Do not fidget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch," Lowndes says.
Frequent hand motions near your face can give your listener the feeling
that you're lying or anxious. Instead, simply fix a constant gaze on the
listener and show them that you're fully concentrated on the matter at
hand.
Hang By Your Teeth
This visualization trick will help you look more confident with your
posture, which Lowndes describes as "your biggest success barometer." To
do this, visualize a leather bit hanging from the frame of every door
you walk through. Pretend that you are taking a bite on the dental grip,
and let it sweep your cheeks into a smile and lift you up.
"When you hang by your teeth," Lowndes says, "every muscle is
stretched into perfect posture position." Your head will be held high,
shoulders back, torso out of your hips, and feet weightless.
This trick also works because of the frequency people walk through
doorways. If you visualize anything often enough, it becomes a habit.
"Habitual good posture is the first mark of a big winner."
Hello, Old Friend
When you first meet someone, imagine they're your old friend.
According to Lowndes, this will cause a lot of subconscious reactions in
your body, from the softening of your eyebrows to the positioning of
your toes.
An added benefit to this technique is that when you act as though you
like someone, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy - you might really
start to like them. Lowndes says, "What it boils down to is love begets
love, like begets like, respect begets respect."
(Excerpted from 'How To Talk To Anyone')
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