Self-coaching, the best way to develop oneself

Coaching is a constant active process of transformation and creation in which you ask yourself questions, you listen, think, decide and act - and then you do it all over again - as a never ending story.

It is a process in which the coach brings his passion, desires and powers to materialize and maximize his abilities and potential to fully express himself and achieve extraordinary achievements.

Self-coaching is something I do all the time. I always think about the content of my mind, listen to my body and learn from the environment around me – and my reaction or response, to it.

This is a tremendous boost to drive oneself forwards, upwards and also inwards, to make sure the goals being pursued and achieved serve the heart’s real desires, for as they say in the industry, “Success without fulfillment is nothing.”

Here are a few suggestions on how to coach yourself. As you read them, you may come up with other ideas of your own. Write them down and make sure you use them. There is strong empirical evidence to suggest that goals that are written down are more likely to be reached.

In fact, the more you write about your goals, the greater your chances of success.

Self-talk

The more closely you can visualize exactly what you want, the more likely you are to make it happen. This means not just daydreaming but visualizing, imagining yourself really in the position you wish to be in.

There is no point in setting yourself a lot of goals that you think you ought to achieve, if deep inside, you actually don’t want to achieve them. If you feel yourself resisting working towards a particular goal, don’t beat yourself up about it but take some time and space to look carefully at what is happening.

Why are you resisting? Is that goal what you truly want? Or what your parents or friends think you would want? It’s a cliché to say follow your heart but, in the end, this is the only way to be happy.

Once you’ve decided what you really want, focus on it. This focus, which is sharpened by writing down your goals, will carry you through to success - provided, of course, you remember you are focusing on a future reality that you are in the process of bringing about, rather than on some impossible dream.

The importance and value of positive self-talk cannot be overestimated. If you’re constantly telling yourself you can’t do it, it will be exceedingly difficult for you to overcome this. If you believe you can do it, you can. Again, something of a cliché but it’s absolutely true.

Take time

It’s a common misconception that treating oneself well is selfish. Actually, if you spend too long sacrificing yourself for other people, you’ll find you have very little left to offer them.

If looking after yourself seems too self-indulgent to you, remember that you need to replenish your reserves if you are going to look after other people well. And that means regularly taking time for yourself.

Take time alone to be quiet, to pursue activities you enjoy but that may not be ‘useful’ as such. For example, hobbies, chatting to friends, going to the theatre. Sort out the little things that annoy you about your environment. Challenge yourself from time to time.

If you regularly leave your comfort zone, you’ll find it expands, so that things that would once have scared you, you can now take in your stride.

There is a great deal you can do for yourself by yourself. You owe it to yourself and the world to treat yourself kindly and fulfill your potential.