Tongue in cheek:
An actual missed connection
You: Conceptual Ideal of Person
Me: Conceptual Ideal of Person Corner of D. R. Wijewardene Mawatha
and the end of the universe where reality blurs
would like to tell you that we've run into each other a few times, but
that would be a lie, because this is a missed connection, not a
connected connection or a nearly missed connection. This is not one of
those "we connected, but I failed to follow through because I have
abandonment issues" connection. This is a missed connection, and as such
I am very sorry that our connection was missed, or maybe I'm not, I
don't know, because I've never met you.
When we never see each other, the chemistry isn't so much electric as
it is invisible and imaginary. You are shy or outgoing or flirtatious or
demure. You're a nice or not guy or girl or other. We keep on not
running into each other and thereby missing out on something special or
completely bland. You are or aren't attractive, and I'm pretty sure you
haven't noticed me. I wonder if our attraction or indifference is
Your attention lingers off me a little bit too long for me to
consider this merely a coincidence.
You are involved with someone, or you're not. However, they don't
completely understand you. Or maybe they are overwhelmingly, sickeningly
empathetic. I'm not about to mess things up, but you most certainly
deserve better, perhaps, maybe.
I never saw you at Coffee Bean of Choco Luv or any other coffee shop,
and we never made eye contact awkwardly. I never brushed against your
hand in a way that made either your heart leap or you wash your hands
five times with the rough side of a sponge to scour it clean. Will it
ever be clean again, or is the filth on the inside? I don't know. I
don't know how you usually react in that situation because our
connection has been unequivocally missed.
I don't know if I'm content or miserable that we missed our
connection. I suppose since our eyes never met across the room at a
crowded musical, we have never known the true passion lodged in each
other. We never clasped hands in a darkened restaurant and then
struggled to eat with only one hand. We never screamed and threw sharp
things at each other across the room, near the bed where that one time
you moan-said your psychiatrist's name and I pretended not to notice.
We never kissed sloppily in the rain under the poison oak. We never
got poison oak. Nor have we tearfully admitted that we slept with the
other's best friend-and that it didn't mean anything but maybe pay more
attention to me and don't ignore my text messages when you're playing
Call of Duty. We've never held each other through a long night,
imagining how it would feel to cut the other person. All these feelings
of regret and confusion are absent because, or not exactly because, we
missed our connection.
Subsequently, what if we met up for coffee? Ride a tandem canoe built
for two? Grow old together? Or continue to never interact ever in all of
existence? The ball is in your hoop. Find me on Twitter. And then follow
me on Twitter.
Always, sometimes, not yet, maybe never, yours truly,
Your Missed Connection
- Funny Woman