|
|
 |
 |
| Sunday, 27 October 2002 |
 |
|
 |
Magazine |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
|
Weekend Meander All was set for the cricket tournament. Both teams were in place and Quince began to read: Oberon's X1, from: His Majesty himself,Queen Tit...here he was stopped in his tracks. 'Objection.' That was some veteran forester who lived in the time of the Roman Empire. 'Women cannot play in cricket matches.' An uproar followed, with those 'for' and 'against'. 'These are not Roman times and we are not playing a Roman game,'said Quince who, as Master of Ceremonies had every right to speak-even on behalf of Oberon. 'Times do not change. Roman or Greek,women cannot play cricket.'Again the veteran. Therre was a fluttering in the bluebells. Small voices were heard and they sounded in great distress. 'Say that even the Maid Marian will be playing in this match.' That Cobweb. 'Say that even her Ladies in Waiting will be playing.' That was Mustard Seed. 'Say that even Will Scarlet's lady will be playing, coming all the way from her village near Trent Bridge for the occasion.' That was Peace Blossom. The blithe spirits of the night were asserting themselves as the bluebells rustled. Suddenly everyone was all agog; a terrible argument was going on but no one could recognise the voices. It was about whether women should play cricket or not. As the voices grew louder, which meant that the arguees were approaching the forest palace clearing,they were found to be those of Bottom and Starveling. Bottom , being a treu-blue traditionalist, was insisting that no women should be in the teams,forest or Robin's. Starveling was putting up some sort of defence in his weak voice, saying that he thought women in cricket kits would look very fashionable. 'Oh, that's Star! He wants his designer cricket togs to get on the market.' That was Snout who was rather sharp in some things.Starveling had already taken the measurements of the Lady Marian and her ladies and of Will Scarlet's wife who had come all the way from Trent Bridge for the exercise. 'That's Star alright. He wont lose a second if I know him,' said Snout. "We have to admire smart people these days.' Meanwhile, the battle of words was getting louder and nearer. 'I will not sit at a cricket match in which women are playing.' Bottom-firm as ever. 'But you will sit at a cricket match wherre women are spectators.' Starveling. 'Dont quibble with words, Starveling. We all know that women cannot comprehend cricket. Our mothers did not even understand the wretched game.' 'Maybe your mother was a... Starveling had no time to finish the insult he was about to deliver Bottom about his mother's intelligence. Bottom seized the tailor by his coat tails and spun him around so that poor Star didn't know where he was. 'That's what I always said,' said Quince. 'Dont underestimate Starveling.' Then rang out a right royal voice. 'This must stop. Whoever likes to play in the cricket tournament, be it man, woman or child-even the wolf himself-should be free to do so. Otherwise I shall have to bring it to the notice of the ICC.' That was Oberon himself. The matter ended there. 'Hurray! Hurray! Our Maj has given the verdict! Hurray!'came the small voices from among the bluebells. Bot and Star came in looking as though they had been dragged through a hedge of briar backwards. They were summoned to Oberon's presence. 'This is a cricket tournament of great prestige for us. Remember, we have not even been granted Test status yet, and this will be a good chance to achieve it. The ICC will have its eyes glued on this match. I will not tolerate any nonsense.' Oberon's commanding voice rang out loud and clear;a woodman said he heard it several metres away. Silence from Bot and Star. 'Quince! Have you seen to the tents? The terraces? What about the pitch itself?'asked Oberon.'Yes, Your Majesty. Everything is in order. The tents have been put up-they say several people are coming from Nottingham to watch Robin o' the Hood's team. Our side is alright;we have the cool banks to lie upon and watch in comfort.' 'What?' thundered Oberon. 'Cool banks? We shall sit with all the others who will be watching the match. If King Richard himself was here he too would be sitting in the tents-a special one, of course. Unfortunately he is in Jerusalem at the moment trying to get his hands on the Holy Grail.' As he spoke the words, Oberon knelt on one knee and crossed himself. 'Holy mackerel! King Richard! Thank God he is in Jerusalem. At least Arafat might be able to persuade him to stay a while longer for peace talks with the Crusaders so he wont come here to spoil our fun.' That was Puck whispering to Quince. 'On with the match! Robin and hissss eleven will be here in a while.' That was a worried Quince. 'Have you got the sandwiches ready?' asked Puck. 'And what about the ale?' That, of course, was Bottom. That was all he could think about. 'Ale?' asked Quince in put-on tones of being affronted at being estimated with only being able to arrange for ale which was virtually on tap in the forest. 'We're having champagne!'replied Quince. 'Remember we have to drink to the king in absence.' A great cheer went round and everyone then got round to trying to decide with which coin to toss. Titania |
|
News | Business | Features
| Editorial | Security
| Produced by Lake House |
