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| Sunday, 3 November 2002 |
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Anger Is Healthy Aggression Kills Do you find yourself frustrated much of the time because your needs aren't being met? Do you become angry when you feel uncomfortable? Do you not just simply want something, but demand it? Well, if this sounds all too familiar, maybe it's time to exercise some calm! Angry feelings alone are not dangerous. It's what we choose to do with the strong emotion that may trigger destruction. Acting out your anger in a destructive manner is referred to as aggression. Aggression is an action intended to harm another person. And unfortunately it is an all too common method of interaction, causing more harm than good for society as a whole in the long run. Why are people aggressive? There are a variety of reasons to answer the why: 1. specific brain structures and heredity influence aggression, 2. hormones (especially testosterone) play a role in aggression, and 3. culture and learned behaviors are another big factor in acting out aggression. When are people aggressive? Aggression is triggered by a variety of factors. As the Frustration-Aggression Hypothesis suggests, frustration leads to aggression. However, this is quite simplistic and according to new studies by psychologists, frustration sometimes leads to depression and withdrawal behaviours rather than aggressive behaviours. Thus, not all frustrating circumstances lead to destructive behaviours. People often blame stress for their angry responses. Of course, stress is a natural part of our daily existence, as, without it, we would be lethargic and unproductive. However, when stress goes undetected or unmanaged, it may produce a readiness for aggression that may or may not be translated into aggressive behaviour. Thus, once this readiness exists, aggression can more easily be triggered by specific situations or other environmental stimuli. So, it appears that stress in conjunction with the environmental cues is most likely to produce aggressive acts than either one alone. Precipitating a stressed-out feeling may be a negative emotional response. We may experience anger or stress when our unrealistic demands are not met. Although we may not realise that we even have these demands, we may end up stuck in our anger as long as the unrealistic demands remain. This type of response would have been triggered by the negative or unrealistic perception of the situation in which one finds himself/herself. Thus, learning to control one's thought process in response to certain circumstances is the key to avoiding the aggressive act all together. No matter what the trigger to aggressive action is, there are a variety of exercises to engage in that will help to reduce and/or prevent an outburst of aggression in the future. Because aggression can be a learned pattern of coping, precipitated by our own thought process it can be, just the same, unlearned. Here's how: 1. Anger Triggers: Make a list of situations that trigger your anger response. What or whom pushes your buttons? 2. Take a look at your list and record next to each entry how you have reacted to those situations or persons. 3. Look at each situation and ask yourself, "What is my responsibility in this situation that is making me angry?" (Is it possible that you give too much power to that person or situation? Is it possible that you perpetuate the other person's actions toward you?) 4. Now, ask yourself the following questions: -Is this really going to matter tomorrow, next week, next month, or in a year or two? -Why should I always have things my own way? Do I know of anyone who doesn't have to put up with some situations or hassle they are powerless to change? -Is it to my advantage to become upset or express my anger and rage to the other person? If not, what can I do in order to let go of it? 5. Keep an Anger Journal: Keep a diary of each time you have an angry thought. Write it out and document the time of day and the set of circumstances surrounding this anger. Also write down what you were thinking to yourself about the trigger. 6. In your journal, rate (1=minimal anger to 10=intense rage) each of the situations. This will assist you in recognising that anger does not have to be all black and white or all-or-nothing. You can monitor your progress by noticing the change in the intensity of anger you are experiencing in similar situations. Ask yourself: -Was your angry response to the situation helpful or harmful? Was it really worth all the energy you expended? -Is there anything you really could have controlled to make the situation that triggered your anger different? -If you had it to do over again, how would you react now? The same or differently? -How would you advise someone you cared about to react or respond in a similarly upsetting situation? -Did you choose your actions or did you react impulsively? -Was the situation really as serious as you may have imagined it to be? -Is there something here that needs to be accepted, changed, or understood about your anger and its trigger? Learning to recognise your thought process will prevent the natural emotion of anger from getting out of hand. -by Dr. Susan Mendelsohn |
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