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| Sunday, 26 January 2003 |
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Business |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
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General etiquette by J.A.A.S. Ranasinghe Here is a selection of practices and manners to be observed at dinner parties or business luncheons: * Make an attempt to converse with as many guests as possible. Do not single out any particular guest. The dinner table or cocktail is the ideal place for you to expose yourself informally and build contacts with opinion makers. If further discussion is deemed to be necessary, you may politely ask the guest to arrange a time for a conversation on a convenient date. If the table is too large, you should at least converse with the guests on either side and those sitting opposite to you. * Smoking in the presence of guests should be avoided specially at the dining table. This is particularly observed when women are around you. But if your host or guest is smoking, you can certainly smoke and even then, politely ask if they mind if you smoke too. * Go easy on the alcohol. Know your limit. Cracking jokes, disturbing the conversation of other guests cannot be condoned. If you think you have got drunk and you are not in a position to stay at the dining table any longer, you may diplomatically leave the location temporarily without being a nuisance to other guests. * Both alcohol and smoking are very powerful tools in building new friendships. * Many types of Asian food are to be shared. When serving yourself, make sure that you leave some food for others too. * Keep your fingers out of your mouth. Refrain from digging your teeth in the presence of others. If something is stuck between your teeth, ask for a tooth prick, cover your mouth with your free hand and remove it discreetly. It is best that you visit the cloak room in such a situation. * No matter how delicious the meals served at the table are, you should have the patience to wait for everyone to be present, unless your host insists that you start without waiting for the others. * It is rude to stare greedily at your neighbour's plate. More importantly, do not ask to taste someone else's food or drink. * If you cannot reach something, like salt or pepper, sugar or cream, ask your neighbour to pass it. Do not reach across the table for the item. It is not good etiquette to throw something like a box of matches across the table at the instance of others sitting opposite to you. You may recall how Jack Dawson of Titanic received the wrath of others when he threw the box of matches to Rose's boyfriend. * Women should not shake their legs once they sit at the dining table. This is a bad habit which nobody should do even at home. * This reminder is also for women. Do not apply lipstick or comb your hair at the dining table. * When drinking water or any liquid, desist from making noises. * Never spit anything back into your plate. If you want to remove something from your mouth, do so discreetly with your fork, spoon or chopsticks. Put it on the side of your plate and cover it with some unchewed food. * Protocol demands a toast at formal dinners or lunch. Until then, it is not ethically correct for you to consume the meal served. * The host should be at the venue at least 15 minutes ahead of the get-together and verify the dining arrangements with the hotel. * Remember, it is the host who should greet the guest personally and not the hotel waiter. * It is the tradition for the host to decide when and how the business topic is introduced. If the host's party consists of several members, it is more advisable for the host to brief the background of the guest and his company to his team mates before the arrival of the guest and the modalities of the business discussion. * It is the convention to prepare an agenda and a timetable for the business part of the meal. * It is of paramount importance for the host to ensure that the guest thoroughly enjoys the meal and not let business matters distract him from his role as host. * Business meals are always informal, although minutes of the discussions are taken at the end of the dinner or lunch. * The host should always bear the cost of the meal discreetly, possibly by prior arrangements with the hotel. * Business courtesy demands that the guest should write, thanking the host for the meal personally. This letter should never be signed by your secretary. Its contents should be laconic (unless the business discussion which took place demands a lengthy reply). The Business Style series concludes today. The writer is a former Human Resources and Administration Manager of Colombo Dockyard Limited. |
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