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| Sunday, 4 January 2004 |
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Year of the Monkey Sel Lipi by Gotabhaya Swasthi Shree! Thus says his sacred Majesty, the gracious Great King, glorious Chakravarthi, King of the Kings of Maya, Pihiti and Ruhuna, Mahoora of the Vanniala-aeththo and ruler of all lands from Yapapatuna to Sampanthota: It has come to the attention of the Maha Waasala that in this resplendent isle, there is an invasion of wanderoos and rillows in the vicinity of the Audience Hall. The villages of Bath-thota-mulla, Pelawatte and Thalana-gama have been over-run by hordes of monkeys, like the huge vaanara army that accompanied Rama when he came to this island to conquer Ravana the rakshasa. These latter-day Hanumans are creating a nuisance to households not too far distanced from Sri Jayawardhana Kotte. Houses have their tiles removed and their flowerpots smashed in the course of these depredations. Fruit trees are stripped bare, the fruits entering the bellies of these ferocious primates. These simian marauders even pluck the coconuts, throwing down the empty kurumbas at the householders after the beasts have drunk their fill, as if to show their contempt. What causes this behaviour? Some think that they are preparing for the New Year celebration, for what is known as the Year of the Monkey in Mahaa Cheenaya. Others say that the monkeys are attracted by the refuse that lies uncollected on the streets. Still others say that the monkeys have lost their natural homes amongst the dwellings of the ruk-devathas, the deities of the trees and are invading the homes of the people who have brought them to this plight. Meanwhile, it has come to the attention of the Maha Waasala that, in the land of Palastheenaya among the Yonaka lands, the Yudhew warriors occupying the city of Hebron have started fighting a new enemy. These are not their traditional foes, Yonaka youths who hurl stones and insults, but are huge and hungry rats. They are so big that the Yudhew warriors call them balal-meeyas - cat rats. They have entered the kutis of the warriors and have bitten some of them. It is said that these elephant-sized rodents are attracted by the rubbish that lies uncollected in the streets of Hebron. This refuse is not collected because the Yudhew army does not allow its collection by the Yonaka rubbish collectors, whom they consider their enemy (along with the epithet-hurling youths). It appears, however that the Yonakas have a different explanation. Some of them aver that the Yudhew soldiers behave just like rats, and that the real rats have come to them as just retribution, according to the doctrine of cause-and-effect. The pundits of this Dhammadweepa have been consulted and they have informed the Maha Waasala that the last explanation is the closest to the cause of the simian invasion of the urbs about the Audience Hall. They say that a clue is given by one aspect of the behaviour of these apes: they have been observed to fight ferociously among themselves. It is a known fact that monkeys ape the actions of their human counterparts. Therefore, it is obvious that the gods have sent a multitude of monkeys to ape the goings on in the Audience Hall, as just retribution according to the laws of cause-and-effect. Therefore, the Maha Waasala hereby decrees that, henceforth no korale or manthri shall be allowed to behave in a fashion that attracts hordes of imitating flatterers to the villages around and about. For is it not said truly that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? Swasthi Shree! This rock edict is made on this day of Ravi of the month of Dhuruthu of the Year of the Saka Era 1930. |
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