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| Sunday, 4 January 2004 |
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Features |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
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Do female senior citizens face discrimination? by Jayanthi Liyanage Senior women citizens are often victims of gender discrimination, in different degrees in differing contexts. Middle-aged and elderly women are very often victims battered in "property wars" in which the victors are generally the males or the power-wielders of the family.
A relatively unknown breed of victims comes from certain "child marriages" (under the Muslim law), in which the female child is contracted into marriage without her knowledge and consent, purely to deprive her of utilising and enjoying the benefits of property existing in her name. One such victim, Nalini, now 55 years of age, has been for many years, furtively blocked from venturing into a "real marriage", by the man who secretly married the orphaned Nalini for her money and uses it for the benefit of his own children from another marriage. Nor has she been permitted to secure a highly-paid job which would give her economic freedom to break free and start a new lease of independent life. "I am prevented from securing a high salary, or claiming my property to build my own life that I long for," laments a desperate Nalini. "Am I doomed to spend my elderly years in this enslaved manner, in a Home for the Elders? Aren't there any laws which could help victims like me?" predicament Fifty years old Subhadra is in a similar predicament though in a different setting. When her parents died ten years back, she was offered a home within her married brother's family. But she can scarcely call herself "at home" within that atmosphere as she is reduced to the state of a "servant", to be the maid, cook, nurse and nanny in this family of husband, wife, five children and two unmarried brothers of the wife.
"My parents discriminated against me by writing all their property to my brother," says Subhadra. "They said that the property has to remain within the family and that if I was given property, my husband would pass it on to his family. But they died and I never got to marry as my sister-in-law resents any attempt by my brother to assist my welfare and diverts all that he tries to give me to her own children, saying, 'You are old. You don't need it.' My parents told me, 'We are giving all our property to your brother so that he can look after you'. I am asking my deceased parents, 'Why were you so blind as to never take any precautions to prevent what has befallen me now?" Now "marginalised" within her own kith and kin, she faces the risk of sexual molestation by her male in-laws and had recently barely escaped from one such molester. "It is just a matter of time until I have no physical and spiritual strength to ward them off any more," fears Subhadra. An illogical reasoning on bequeathing parental property has made a "living hell" of a daughter's life, specially in her senior years when her life should have brought her comfort, security and monetary ability to pursue her productivity. Statistics from Helpage Sri Lanka shows 84 per cent of current senior citizens of the country to be in rural areas. Forty nine per cent of them are women, with 60 per cent being of 60-70 years; 30 per cent, 70-80 years; and 10 per cent over 80 years. Of the total elderly population, the unmarried make up 27 per cent. Travails of the elderly are equally extended to the married senior women citizens. V. R. Amarasingham, President, Ageing Gracefully, commenting on realities of retired life in Sri Lanka, says that the winds of change have not completely blown off the dust found on the rocks of tradition and religious belief accumulated over the centuries. "Even after retirement, the men continue to give orders at home much to the embarrassment of his grown up children who resist such behaviour. Retired men can become resentful of socially active spouses if they have not planned for any meaningful activity in their retirement. The men become such terrors that his spouse opts to stay with the children locally or abroad, or join an elders' home." In such cases, meaningful counselling by counsellors trained to counsel elders becomes an option to be seriously considered. Violators Another discriminated sector is the growing tribe of female senior citizens who are getting trapped in a "labour of love" syndrome within a polluting social fabric in which the security of the general citizenry seems to be at a rude invasion by violators of law and morals. Sixty-eight year old Ramyaseeli always introduces herself to strangers as "a grandmother of four ." The rank fits her to perfection as she is the cook and care-giver to the toddler sons and daughters of her two working daughters during the day, and very often in the night while the professionally-qualified daughters and their spouses are away from home on office assignments or, busy with brought-home office work. "I thought, may be I could enjoy more restful days when my daughters grow up. But though as old as I am, my work load has now doubled, as my children cannot take the risk of trusting any paid nanny, other than this 'grandmother', to entrust the care of these tiny tots. For how could you entrust your young children into strange hands when you daily hear of such horror stories of child abuse and molestation?" Sunset years which should have been mellowed in serenity and leisure but in actuality, spiked with drudgery. (Names are fictitious.) |
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