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| Sunday, 25 September 2005 |
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Marrying for love and property by Bandula Seneviratne
Of course, the young man was given available land to pursue his occupation. There were other instances where a number of brothers shared one wife which was not classified as adultery. There was observance of customs in all communities in Sri Lanka, pertaining to marriage, which were strictly observed , but all these were sans signing on a dotted line. With the advance of civilisation, industrialisation and globalisation, the sanctity of marriage deteriorate. Men and women began to distrust each other and then came the era of legalisation of marriages, in that a man and a woman had to sign a register on a dotted line before a Registrar of Marriages witnessed by two witnesses who also had to sign the register. In all, five persons had to sign a register to call it a legal marriage. It is my considered view that such a legal marriage is the most uncivilised act in this so-called civilized world. In the first place, it is a cynosure and replica of the distrust that is prevalent in the present society. Society feels that the man and woman should legally get married by placing their signatures on a register, which is mandatory according to the provisions of Law. Thus they begin their life at the very outset with the legal marriage which is a symbol of distrust. Legalising a marriage is the outcome of many causes, mainly pecuniary. In the first place, the wife becomes the owner with the children and all properties whether movable or immovable soon after the husband's death and vice versa, so that the legal marriage is a ruse adopted to own the property of either party at his or her demise. If the husband is a government pensioner, the wife gets it after his death. This is also the same with E.P.F. and E.T.F. money in the case of an employee in the mercantile or private sector. As such, legal marriage could be termed as a ploy to get the money due to the husband/wife, after his/her death. Is this not an indictment on the false pretences or the true phase of a legal marriage? Perhaps the reader may have noticed the large number of legal marriages contracted between elderly foreign males and local young women. The motive for marriage for these young women is crystal clear and obvious. Similarly, there are young Sri Lankan males who go in search of elderly women in foreign countries for legal marriages for similar reasons. Has not the institution of legal marriage been prostituted for mainly financial reasons? At this stage it also become necessary to consider whether the present day legal marriages are as successful as the marriages by custom during the good old days. The other day, I happened to pass the Colombo District Court which is called appropriately, the Divorce Court. To my amazement, there were a large number of couples, may be over 75, waiting to annul their marriages through divorce. There were also a large number of small children. The interpreter Mudliyar called the names of the parties by the use of a microphone. I experienced the same thing at Ampara Courts, an out of the way town, which was also full of estranged couples. In the present day, whether they have children or not, parties rush to the Divorce Court on the slightest pretext, or at the drop of a hat. Considering all these facts, it is worthwhile to ponder whether legal marriages of the present day have met with the same degree of success that the marriages of yore by custom were accustomed to. During the bygone era, divorce and adultery were hardly heard of, which is the contrary in the present day. To break up a legal marriage, one has to go to court and incur heavy expenses. Moreover, it is a time consuming process, where the gentry of the Black Coat get richer and richer. Though I will be the target of missiles, rotten eggs, tomatoes and brick bats, I in my twilight years, in hindsight, wish to say 'Aye' to the theory of 'living together' for healthy couples which has several advantages, the most important of which is the ease with which the couple could break up and go their separate ways. I wish to invite the reader who disagrees with me or holds a different view to put it down in writing for publication in this esteemed newspaper. I may be permitted to add in conclusion, that the women of the Middle East, encourage their Asian counterparts to cohabit with the men of the Middle East, to prevent division of wealth, which I am inclined to think is a by-product of the so-called modern civilisation. There is no legal marriage in this instance too. Adam and Eve never signed on the dotted line. |
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Our forefathers, great great grandfathers of most countries in the world
over, never entered wedlock by both parties signing a register before a
Registrar of Marriages. There were marriages by custom, for example, in Sri
Lanka, in the days of yore, a young man from a village went to the adjoining
village, chose a beautiful damsel and brought her home as his wife and lived
happily ever after. 
