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Short story 

Flying a Wild Horse

by Aphrodite

Once upon a time in a beautiful little island called paradise, there lived a girl by the name of Cheryl. She was all of 19 years old but looked about 12, which, when you come to think of it, was probably a good thing, since at 27 she would look about 20, Cheryl was tiny, with a 'cute-made' frame, large eyes hidden behind a pair of spectacles and a big smile - not to mention the biggest nose on earth, according to Cheryl. ("It's right in the middle of my face!!") But what really makes her stand out (if that's possible) is her animated way of talking. She is so full of enthusiasm and effervescence and is almost always babbling nonstop, that her friends call her 'bubbly'.

At 19, Cheryl had finished high school and all her big exams; she also still watched Sponge Bob Squarepants, read harry Potter and worshipped Shah Rukh Khan, But strange enough, she didn't have a boyfreind, like most of her other freinds.

Then again, there really isn't anything strange about it, considering that Cheryl knew how to be happy and whole by herself. I mean, who needs to go on a wild goose chase to find your significant other (-half), when you can be just as content sitting at home watching Chad Michael Murray on A Cinderella Story? At least that's what Cheryl thought... until she met Rosh.

It was about two years ago when she first saw him, in her Chemistry class. He sat next to the window at the back of the class and rarely made any noise. However, when he stood up, he stood out. (At least, Cheryl thought he did, because none of her friends noticed him). He was a dark, broad-shouldered, lanky six-footer (Cheryl barely came up to his shoulders) and would have looked like a NBA player, if not for his specs - which was, in Cheryl's mind, their first common link. They both suffered from myopia.

Started

Cheryl doesn't remember when exactly she started to fall for him; it was more like one of those things that 'clicked' at random. Like when one day you're looking out your window and you realize that the flower bushes in the garden are really pretty, even though they'd been there for as long as you can remember and you didn't really notice.

So one day Cheryl woke up in the morning and suddenly - WHAM! - realized that Rosh was the cutest boy in class, and that she wanted to get to know him. Of course her friends thought otherwise. She liked his smile - part shy, part unsure, part mischievous and part simply sweet.

She liked his clear voice and blank looks (especially when the teacher asked him a question). She liked the way his name sounded when she said it out loud. She liked his high cheekbones and wow height. Quite frankly, she liked every bit of him.

Average

Rosh was your average teenage guy. He liked listening to rock music, staring at Aishwarya Rai, playing cricket and watching goofy movies. He also had a crush on a fair, pretty girl in class. She had a boyfriend, but no matter, Rosh just kept his distance. What he didn't know was, that there was this short, bubbly specko girl (remarkably like himself in some aspects) who thought he was just perrr...fect! Oh, of course he knew who Cheryl was - just some girl in his Chem.

Class, but there was nothing special about her. Because like most boys, Rosh thought 'special' essentially meant 'beautiful' or 'hot' or even 'sexy'. (Poor Cheryl was indeed none of that, according to her self-analysis.) He might have been quite mistaken in his superficial definition of special, but unlike most boys, he clearly wasn't a dim-witted air head or a male chauvinist or a jerk - as some girls like to say. On the contrary, he was quite an intellectual.

He loved Chemistry and was rather good at it. He liked to read, especially mystery novels by authors like Agatha Christie and Sydney Sheldon. Little did he know that Cheryl liked those very same books and that her favourite subject was Chemistry too.

Surprised

Before the school year ended, Rosh stopped classes. Cheryl was surprised, but mostly sad and unexplainably hurt. She never got to see him again. Of course, it was part her fault - she never really tried to talk to him. But then again how could she, when the whole world seems to be out to get you, to humiliate you when you didn't make the mark? Cheryl sure wished she had the courage, the guts to just call him up, but it's always easier said than done when you don't know if you should fly a wild horse into the sun and risk getting burnt or just stay at home all safe and sound with no danger of burns or broken hearts. It is definitely a tough decision to make, because the heart can only take so much.

Later on, when Cheryl had finished her exams and was sitting at home, bored out of her wits with nothing exciting to do, she did call Rosh. I wish I could say that everything went well and that Cheryl and Rosh found their other halves in each other and finally lived happily ever after, but a good story never ends the way you was it to.

However, Rosh did initially fall for Cheryl. Except he didn't know it was Cheryl. You see, somewhere along the way, Cheryl made the mistake of pretending to be someone else - a certain girl called Tiara who doesn't even exist - when she phoned Rosh. Where Cheryl gets her ridiculous ideas, nobody knows (I sometimes think she watches too many cartoons), but I guess it's reasonable to say she was afraid of being rejected because she wasn't 'special'.

Smoothly

At first, things went smoothly enough. Cheryl found Rosh to be a thoughtful guy. The kind of guy who listens to her nonstop chatter. He was gentle and kind and friendly and even sensitive. He also played the guitar, which - in Cheryl's opinion - is worth about five bonus points.

They soon found out that both of them shared many similarities. They both loved X-files and valued open-mindedness. Both loved watching Jim Carrey movies and hated Physics. Both thought George Bush needed brain surgery. Of course, they had their differences too. He was tall, she was short.

He liked rock and pop music while she preferred R&B/Soul. He wanted to visit New York someday, whereas she would rather see Paris. He was more the quiet and kind-of-shy type while she was outgoing and loud. All in all, they were a wonderful combination.

And then, Rosh wanted to see this 'Tiara' whom he thought was pretty cool. So he asked her to meet him. That's when the true dilemma began for Cheryl. She knew the right thing to do was to tell the truth, that she was really Cheryl - the ordinary chatterbox in his Chem. Class - and not Tiara. But that would mean risking her new friendship with Rosh, the perfect guy who was almost too good to be true.

For who can guarantee that Rosh will still like her in the same way, after she takes off her mask? (Even though she was still the same person inside.) Ceryl knew that the question goes unanswered, but she had to make a decision. And she did. The right thing to do is never easy, but then again the easy thing to do is never right.

Truth

So one gloomy Monday morning, Cheryl called up Rosh and told him the truth about who she really is. Confessing is always an ugly business, but it had to be done. As Cheryl was yakking away about how she made up a pretend name and that Tiara doesn't really exist, Rosh never said a word.

Not one single word. Cheryl was almost afraid that he had a heart attack, for she couldn't even hear him breathe on the other end. Rosh was most definitely in shock. (no surprise there) However, before he hung up he said that he'd get back to her.

The days that followed the 'confession' were probably the longest days in Cheryl's 19-year-old life. She passed time in a daze, forever wondering what Rosh thought of her. Was he angry? Was he hurt?

Was he disappointed? Did he hate her? Or was he ready to forgive her? Those questions whirled in her head like clouds in a thunderstorm as she racked her brains trying to figure out what his response would be. She drove her friends right up the wall with her never-ending analysis of the situation. But deep down, Cheryl really did believe that somehow Rosh would find it in his heart to forgive and forget. He just had to understand.

Then on the following thursday, Cheryl received a message from Rosh. As she read it, her head felt light and dizzy and the letters started to swim in front of her, as her eyes welled up with tears. For a few shocking minutes. Cheryl thought may be she was in the middle of a dream - or more likely a nightmare.

She just couldn't believe it. Rosh wanted nothing more to do with her. He asked her not to call or sms or e-mail him ever again. Although he was thankful that she told him the truth, he was still quite mad at her. Why exactly, he didn't say. He mentioned that she was a coward too.

It was like Cheryl could almost feel hot blood oozing out of her wounded heart as she reread those words. She was numb with disbelief and hurt and a pain she couldn't place. She felt like the girl in a soppy Mills and Boon book she read once, (by mistake, of course) who was supposed to have had her heart ripped out of her chest, thrown on the floor and squashed like a bug by some filthy rich playboy Duke.

Except in this case Rosh was just an ordinary guy and not a filthy rich playboy Duke. Still, he was nothing short of perfect, so it did hurt more. Cheryl knew there was nothing more she could do - after all, she had done quite enough already. She had created an ugly mess; there was no need to make it uglier by chasing after 'the one that got away'. you can't really force someone to love you.

Cheryl knew that if Rosh felt anything for her, he might just call back. (She'll always have a little bit of hope, anyway.) If not, well... then too bad that's where her story ends. However, she did learn a valuable lesson in life from her mistake: she learnt that before expecting someone else to love you, you have to learn to love yourself.

Cheryl also learnt that it's okay to ride a wild horse into the sun once in a while, because the exhilaration you feel is worth the risk of getting burnt. As the age-old saying goes - "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

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