Gentle art of persuasion is not cumbersome

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"Everybody wants to control the world, but nobody wants to be controlled by others". What a practical scenario it is. I extracted the above verse from a poetry collection called 'Candle Light' by a young poet.

Vance Packard wrote in his best selling book 'Hidden Persuaders'. "Many of us are being influenced and manipulated, far more than we realise, in the patterns of our everyday lives". No one of us like to admit that we are influenced. That is because we remain ignorant about how persuasion works.

Be persuasive

What is persuasion? It's not a simple thing, it's a process of changing someone's attitude, beliefs, behaviours, etc. Do you think it's hard to do? It is hard to change someone's beliefs, attitudes or behaviours unless if we try to do that artfully.

Can you just convert a Jew to a Christian? It's very difficult to change someone's belief. But you know, if you can persuade someone you can change the way they think and their beliefs.

For example, we are often mindlessly influenced by politicians, sales people and advertisers. Think for yourself, you will realise how you have been influenced by TV commercials.

Haven't you changed any item that you've been using for a long time after seeing a catchy colourful persuasive advertisement showing using gorgeous looking characters?

Learn to persuade

"To be persuasive", Edward R. Murrow said "We must be believable. To be believable, we must be credible. To be credible, we must be truthful". Integrity plays a vital role in a persuader. Sincerity, trustworthiness are the fundamentals of being persuasive.

Researchers have found that a persuasive person should always decrease the biasness while increasing the trustworthiness. In simple words we should always try to tell the truth.

When people, who you're trying to persuade get to know that you're not telling the truth or you're going to fool them, they're not going to believe in you any more. Bill Bernbach succinctly put it this way, "I've a great gimmick. Let's tell the truth".

Marketing experts believe, truth is such powerful, persuasive weapon in advertising. As I feel telling truth is not a persuasive weapon in only advertising, but in every event of your life. Some world famous advertising companies are rediscovering the power of the truth as a new marketing weapon.

First impression, Best impression

Have a good impression to persuade others. You should use the body language as well, when you speak. Because it easily and quickly conveys the message you want. But be careful, non-verbal communication should not be contradicted with what you say, and it'll give a completely different message and it'll harm your image.

Have a good first impression. The saying "You don't get a second chance to make a first impression" has a scientific basis. When you meet someone for the first time, within few minutes, that person will make up his mind about you.

To be persuasive with the person or persons you are communicating, it's always important to manage a good body language. Looking directly in to the person's eyes is important and it will covey your honesty.

When people are nervous and uncomfortable they don't maintain the eye contact. And when they are comfortable then they directly look at the eyes. Lean forward and relax when you speak.

Warm smile, unfolded arms, uncrossed legs, relaxed body will ensure your openness and good manners. Show interest by directly looking at the other person. Nod your head slightly to show that you are in agreement with what the person says. People love to talk with people who express their emotions through expressive face.

Smile is most powerful. Julius Fast says in his book "Body language in the work place", "Smile is the most direct way of saying I'm happy in your presence". Of course a smile will convey the warmth and confidence in you to the other person and it helps to build a good rapport.

Dress to persuade

People often judge others by the way they dress. If you dress heedlessly people will also have a heedless image of you. dress smart..! Take extra care about your appearance.

Don't you know you're always influenced by celebrities. That's because of their pleasant image.. so why don't you try to build a good image about yourself? Then you know? you will be able to persuade others.

Attitude matters

Always hold a positive attitude to change other's attitudes. It's like a treasure you always carry with you wherever you go. And when you speak, use words full of warmth, tolerance and patience. You can easily influence people.

KISS

When you're talking to persuade, be mindful not to bore people with excessive descriptions. Get to the point.. Keep It Short and Simple. Remember "Less is more".

Humour

"Once you've got people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything" - Herbert Gardner. Humour is something which keep people live and active.

Everyone likes humour. When you use humour to persuade, make sure that humour is relevant to what you say. To be more effective, humour must make a point.

Listen

"The golden rule of persuasion - Listen to others as you would have them listen to you", said Harry Mills. Dale Carnegie said "Let the other person do the great deal of talking".

Encourage people to express their ideas. By letting them do the great deal of talking you can get almost everything you want to know about the person and then is your chance to tell what you want. Once you created a big picture about the person you're talking to, it's easy for you to influence them.

Last, but not the least I would quote Henry Ford's saying, "If there was any one secret of success, it was in the ability to get the other person's viewpoint and see things from that person's way of thinking as well as from your own.

By avoiding criticisms and presenting with contagious enthusiasm, and being totally clear as to what you want, and how the other person would benefit from it. No one will be able to resist your powers of persuasion!".