Amateur short story:

Lalitha's mother

by Rinza Hathy

Lalitha was looking at the little baby crying, crying with tears pouring from his eyes. Like when water sprays out from a pipe that has a leak, and you wish some one will turn off the tap. The crying was more like wailing.

The wailing that makes one's heart sore - at least it gave Lalitha's heart ache with pain. Why is he crying so much? Painfully looking at the child Lalitha thought. What does he want? The child was red now. His little mouth making out an 'o' shape. Mind you - the simple letter 'o' and not the capital letter, because the child was so young. As he cries his eyes become small, and the tears pops out again. Lalitha's eyes become blurred too.

Blurred because she is in tears. Large drops of tears roll down her face and on to her dress - wetting it. But the others in the room did not notice her. They notice only the child. 'Ooohh.. What is it darling...?' Aunty Vijitha asks and walks up to the little boy. "You've wetted again.

Here, I'll change your nappy", and she continues with an 'Oohh'. Her mouth is making the 'O' shape too. The Capital letter 'O' this time. At 32 years of age - you wouldn't really expect this sort of feeling from a grown up woman, would you? Lalitha knew that what would be expected was for her to lift the baby.

Carry him and cradle him. But she was in her own thoughts now. She drifts her eyes from the baby who was now lying on the cot, quiet because he was dry - to the blank wall above.

Her gaze was so intense and deep you would think that she was looking at what was happening on the other side of the wall. No - she was deep in thought. Her thoughts going 22 years backwards - back to when she was a little girl of 10.

"Amma, please don't go", the little girl said. She was just 10. She saw her mother desperately trying to lock the bags which were full. There were two bags. One was the main luggage and the other was the hand luggage.

Her mother had a tired and strained look in her eyes...., eyes that had both desperation and hope in them. "Lalitha my darling", she said "I'm going to bring you lots of toys, you know." That brought a tiny beam of light to Lalitha's little heart. "Amma will you bring me a teddy bear?" the child asked. "Yes, of course darling. I will" - Amma said and went to the kitchen to make dinner.

Lalitha overheard her mother talking to her father in the kitchen. "Duwa is feeling sad that I'm going", her mother says. "Poor child. I know it's hard for her. She is so close to me" she continued. Her father adds to it, "What to do. We need the money to repay the loans, and with the baby - how can we manage with our government salary?.' Later that night Lalitha, sat down for dinner. Amma knew to cook well, so everyone enjoyed it. No one talked but every one knew what was going on in the other's head.

"Amma is flying tomorrow." It was like a secret everyone knew but did not want to share with the other. It was a very painful secret.

The following day everyone woke up early in the morning. The flight was at 6.30 a.m. and so, Amma had to leave to be at the airport as early as 3.30 a.m. The ticketing officer had told her father that Amma has to be there, three hours before the time of departure. It was about 1 " hours drive to the airport from their home. Everything was ready. Amma was dressing. "Where is my slide? I left it here before I went to the bathroom." she said.

There was a slight irritation in the tone of her voice. She was obviously stressed. Sleepy eyed Lalitha looked under the bed. Then under the dressing table.

She couldn't find the slide. Thaththa came in with an annoyed look, "Hurry up. We must leave now. The airport van has come" he said. Now Amma was panicking. She had worn her dark blue saree. It was Lalitha's favourite. Amma found the slide in the bathroom. She had left it there.

"OK darlings, I will write to you." Amma said kissing each child. She was sweating now. Amma then went near the sleeping baby and kissed him. There were tears in her eyes. Her lips were trembling. She didn't stay much longer afterwards. She just touched each child on the head and was looking away - hoping the children wouldn't see her crying. They all went out to the garden.

Thaththa was loading the bags in the van and the driver was helping him. Outside, it was dark.

Lalitha could here a cricket making funny noises. As Amma got into the van she turned and looked at her children. Amma looked pale. Lalitha ran to her mother. "Amma... don't forget the teddy bear" the little girl whispered into her ears. "Ok", her mother said and nodded.

The 10 year old child didn't know that her mother was too sad to even speak. This woman was going to work abroad for the sake of her children - her family. She knew the little ones would be left alone.

It broke her heart into pieces - like the waves of the sea crashing onto the big rocks and splashing all over, aimlessly and then disappearing, so mysteriously. However much one would like it to stop from crashing - it wouldn't. It simply continues like the feeling in her heart right now. But she had to go.

It was a sudden opportunity she got after she applied in reply to an advertisement in the Sunday newspapers. Once she got the job offer she had a long discussion with her husband about it and finally decided to go ahead with the plan.

Her husband being a very responsible, she was sure of him looking after the house and children until she returned. Thaththa came back from the airport that day. Amma's flight had been 15 minutes late and other that everything else was OK. Thaththa told that Amma had told all the children to go to school tomorrow, which was a Monday. Lalitha knew that her Amma was very keen about them going to school.

That day all of them ate their lunch very quietly, which Amma had cooked before she left and Thaththa had simply warmed it up. Lalitha could not but feel it was tasteless. Though her Amma can cook well, today's lunch seemed terrible.

It was 9 in the night. Lalitha slowly climbed on to the bed and sat near the baby. He was only 6 months old, a tiny petite child with the milk bottle in his mouth. The milk was all over him but the bottle was well placed in his mouth.

The child woke up and looked at Lalitha with his big brown eyes, and then let out a wail.

A deep long wail that broke the silence of the night which made her heart ache. Which made her feel so confused and scared. Which made her want of her mother so much.

She felt so insecure and lost, so lonely and empty. What was she to do? She thought. Amma is not here. How do we stop the baby crying? She must have landed in that country so far away.

Then her father rushed in and tried to calm the child. But to no avail. The child seemed to be frustrated and angry, with the face pinkish like a tomato, as if he was sure that his mother had left him.

Her little baby brother looked so helpless, as helpless as Lalitha herself, as helpless as her father. The baby's crying did not stop. Quietly Lalitha bent close to the baby's ear - "Amma is going to bring us toys malli", she whispered.