Celebrate it your way

If you know the answer to the million dollar question - what is love?:

by Umangi de Mel

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Acts of love get more attention during the so called month of love than an expecting mother gets medical attention during the entire pregnancy: Red roses, dresses, Valentine cards or even a pair of undergarments which is red could be purchased at a price high enough to feed a small family for a whole week during the month in which cupid goes bananas.

Well, the million dollar question is "What is this all important emotion called love?" Ten years back love, for me was a lot of original and impromptu poetry, thrilling day dreams, corny love songs and a long list of cute creatures of the opposite sex.

A few years later at 21, love was many more things. It was bitter, sad, with lots of temper tantrums but also meant flowers, movies, snogging and everything else that mattered under the hot sun.

Now, six years later, the universal language that was pretty hard to fathom, is somewhat fathomable and thus, has turned into a wholesome experience where you learn to improve, forgive, forget, understand, become flexible and be patient to some extent.

Though not as calm as a totally 'mature love' ought to be it's everything that is no more expressed through words or gifts but a single touch, a smile and a glance...What was initially presumed to be rude, ignorant or careless has entirely different meanings now.

It may not be the same thrilling, roller coaster ride you experienced when you first met but a deeper, mature emotion that'll take two people unharmed through life's ups and downs.

"First love is forever love"

Well, before most people hit the rock bottom, first love is indeed a lovely experience, a happy surprise.

A lot of 'firsts' are shared with your first love. The first thrill holds a special place in your heart always no matter how many more walk in to your life later on. Time can make the feeling fade but its memory is safe forever.

"When you love someone, you'll do anything. You'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain, you'll shoot the moon, put out the sun, when you love someone..."

First love is just what Bryan Adams apparently experienced back then. Risks are taken and things you never imagined you'd be doing are already done in a world where only the two of you exist, nothing's impossible...Togetherness (on the sly) is euphoric and you "did it all for the glory of love..."

However, research show that first love is most often, an act of immaturity...that the person who falls in love has low self-respect. He/she finds a lover who has the qualities that they miss seeing in themselves as they lack self-confidence. They do not love themselves but love the partner ardently.

"Love is like wine matures and tastes better with time!"

Defining mature love, researchers show that it's the type of love one sees in long-term marriages. And then waltz in Valentine's day giving a chance to all the love sick Romeos as well as the two timing Casanovas to show what their love is worth.

Flamboyance play a major role here. Love is, a dozen roses, diamonds or gold and an extravagant dinner at a plush hotel.. or is it?

Muditha Prematilake, (34)

Well, lets just say that first love is the only unforgettable love that one will ever experience. But it doesn't mean that it's the best of all or it's the only love one will have.

But a more deeper love would be a lot of practicality combined with a strong bond. Love does change its colour when age, commitments and responsibilities come into play. Valentine's day is a farce. Loving and respecting your loved one throughout the year looks like a better idea.

Dr. Anojana J. (27)

Love does, at most instances prove to taste better with time....only if it matures or else love might taste bitter than better.

It's true that these 'International days' have been commercialised simply so that there is a boon in the business world....come Valentine's day, gifts galore for both parties!!

True, you don't need a special day to show your loved one you care because they're special every single day, but also, in the busy world we live in, thanks to these days, we force ourselves to tell our loved ones how we feel.

Nalindra Perera (48)

When you are young and immature you tend to go for looks. But later on you find out that beauty's only skin deep and that there's more to it. Intelligence, understanding and most of all, you've got to be in the same wave length. I've been married for the past 24 years. And yes, love does mature and taste better with time. As time goes by, the companionship becomes much better and that love has much more to offer.

Valentine's day of course is a highly commercialised thing. For me, it's not just one day. It's something much deeper.

Dr. Ajanthan Jeyaseelan (32)

I definitely agree that love is like wine. It has to grow stronger by the day. The bonds coupled off with mutual understanding respect, trust, and sacrifice for each other will make a relationship grow.

For me, Valentine's day is one of the most special days of the year but obviously for a relationship to go on, it should be Valentine's day through out the year.

Karthiga, (26)

Love is definitely like wine....our parents prove it. You get to know the person better with time.

Both parties know the other one well and can practically predict each other's thoughts or actions.

"Days" of course, are definitely commercialised. Do you really have to wait just once a year to show you love your mother, father or loved one?

Some are horribly rude to their folks but get flowers or gifts for them on these so called 'days'. These days are just created for a perfect opportunity for shops and service providers to promote their products.

Shehan Patterson, (30)

When two people truly love each other, the relationship can only grow stronger with time and the understanding and relationship matures. Also, I think it's important we have these special days. We do love them every single day, but a special day makes us get out of our busy lives and appreciate them in a different way. You don't need flowers, chocolates or dinner.

Celebrate it your way.