Enjoy happiness in marriage

Many people think that hanging and waving go by destiny. In other words, they think that marriage is a lottery because many married couples separate, divorce or decide to exist together for the sake of children.

However, no sane person would think that marriage is a lottery because there is no element of chance if you approach it the right way.

The first step of leading a happy married life is to drop all doubts you and your partner entertain. There should be a firm determination that you can lead a happy married life despite temporary setbacks.

Unlike professional success which solely depends on you, success in marriage rests on you and your partner. When you try to succeed in your profession, there will thousand and one impediments. Your enemies will carry tales to your boss.

They will petition the higher-ups pinpointing your real or imagined weakness. The same problems will arise when you try to lead a successful married life. If you can discuss the problems with your partner with an open mind, you can lead a peaceful life even among vicious people.

If you are a husband, you must be aware of your wife's needs. On the other hand, if you are a wife, you must be aware of your husband's needs. Even if you want to consult a medical specialist, first ask your partner. Sometimes, your partner will have a different opinion. Such personal opinions are important in family relationships.

Unfortunately, most husbands do not consult their wives. They think it is rather infra dig on their part. Even a humble housewife has an opinion of her own.

When you discuss an issue with your wife, she feels important. That is one of the cardinal principles of happiness in marriage.

Some wives are not in the habit of giving a warm welcome to their husbands when they return home after a hard day's work. They take their husbands' love for granted. At such times, husbands feel unimportant and they might turn to other women for recognition and appreciation.

There is an old saying that behind every successful man there is a woman this women is invariably his wife. When a husband feels that he is admired and looked up to by he is admired and looked up to by his wife, he will not go astray. He will stick to her through thick and thin.

Napoleon Bonaparte was an ideal husband who loved his wife Marie Eugenie Ignace Augustine immensely.

Once he said that she was the most beautiful woman in the world! If she happened to be a nagging wife, she would follow her husband all the time to find out whether he had another woman in his life.

If that had happened, Napoleon could have easily found another woman to a comfort him.

History tells us of many such ideal husbands. Disraeli married a rich widow Mary Anne. In fact, he married her for money. But Mary Anne loved him and their marriage was a success. She always cared for his needs. Eventually, Disraeli fell in love with her and Mary Anne became his beloved heroine.

We all grow old and life is full of ups and downs. Once a rich businessman discarded his old wife and got married to a young girl half his age. Now the businessman is old and he always suspects his young wife for no apparent reason. Human nature is that both husbands and wives lose their good looks. One or both of them become victims of some disease. We must be ready to face such situation in life.

Happy marriages last a lifetime. Old age should not be a bar to happiness. Some couples fell uncomfortable during their old age. They think that their best years are over. Despite physical weaknesses and fading good looks, nothing should prevent a couple from leading a happy married life. The feeling of unhappiness experience by them is not caused by physical infirmities but by an inability to make the necessary psychological adjustments.

Once a wife confused to a counsellor that her life was becoming a boring business because nothing new happened. This kind of feeling is due to sheer mechanics of living. If you think the world is ready to make you happy, you are mistaken. You and your partner must make an effort to live happily.

This can be done in many ways. If you feel that life is not exciting, you must try to spend your time in some useful pursuit.

Even grandparents should never get into the mindset that they are too old to do anything new.

Feel young at heart and you will find that the world is full of opportunities. If you have grandchildren, they will be a source of happiness. If not engage yourself in some fruitful work, the rewards will make you happy.

Another lesson we must learn in life is not to complain all the time. Stop complaining but try to solve your problems in a practical way. Wallowing in your worries and troubles will not take you anywhere. Always remember that there are people who suffer more than you, but they face their problems stoically.

William Shakespeare in "Hamlet" said, "To take arms against a sea of troubles". In order to lead a happy married life, we have to "take arms". However, arm yourself with powerful weapons which will not fire blanks.

Happiness in marriage seems to be an elusive goal for most of us because deeply ingrained negative attitudes permeate our culture. In addition, people you meet every day will submerge you in them. If you allow them to railroad you in to adopting stereotyped, humiliating attitudes towards marriage, your happiness is doomed.

Retirement is another factor that affects happiness in marriage. Loss of income, recognition and impending disasters such as sicknesses and death will make you unhappy.

However, if you lead a stress free life, there will be less physical or mental ailments. But death is something unavoidable. It is useless worrying about death too much. Let it come any time any day. You have only to be ready.

There is a misconception that we come into the world crying and also depart crying. I think that this is not so. We come into this world with a smile and we must try to depart also with a smile!

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