When time stands still...

When I started telling him stories of the city life he listened intently smiling all the time; We were seated on a small flat rock facing a brook flowing by. The pellucid water dazzled in the morning sunlight. A tiny bird started singing in a nearby tree. Its notes were so clear that they seemed to split the air. I almost forgot my story and started listening to the bird's song. The happiness I felt at that moment cannot be explained in words.

I was then eighteen and my brother 22. He wanted to till the land and grow vegetables. I used to help him in whatever way I could. We took turns in clearing the small plot of land and planting vegetables. Sometimes we spent the night in the hut put up in the chena. On such days mother used to bring our dinner to the hut.

One day I awoke in the middle of the night. A half moon had risen. Night birds kept on singing their beautiful melodies. My brother was fast asleep. I was trying to recollect what I would be doing in the city at this time. I would be reading a poem or a short story. I had read more books than anyone else in my class.

As I watched my brother's face, I remembered how he kept himself away from books. But he never hesitated to buy me whatever books I needed. Then all of a sudden, a strange light seemed to turn on me. I saw the half moon tossed among white clouds, our vegetable plot, our little house in the background, and the babbling brook. The scene was so enchanting, so magical. I did not want to breathe aloud fearing that I might change the tranquil scene. Time stood still for the first time in my life. And I fervently wished that it would remain so.

On the following day I tried to explain my experience of the previous night to my brother, but I found that I could not do so. I recalled the moonlight, singing birds, and the babbling brook. I told him I was there. He asked me "where?" probably not realising my situation. Then I knew that there was no point in trying to explain my feelings. But I knew he must have experienced such moments of bliss very often.

"I want to tell you something but words fail me," I told him finally.

"What's it?" he asked.

"Time stood still last night", I said meekly.

"What?"

"Yes, time stood still," I repeated.

"I haven't gone to school. So I can't understand what you're trying to say," he said.

"The joy comes when you open up your senses fully. Last night I kept awake while you were sleeping. I was listening to distant singing birds, babbling brook and seeing with my mind's eye the ever lasting beauty of nature."

"Oh, now I understand. We very often experience it. But I don't know how to explain it. Yes, that's real joy," he said.

I was wondering how to become really conscious without thinking of the past or the future. That is a difficult proposition. When I go back to the city I have to think of my future. When I relax I think of my past. But to think of the present - this moment is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I remember how T.S. Eliot put it as "the still point of the turning world." In other words, the past is dead and the future is still unborn. But the present is the only true reality.

In the city I do not wake up in the night. After reading or writing I go to bed exhausted. Even if I get up in the night, what would I hear? the barking of dogs, the sound of motor vehicles whistling past my house or the ravings of a demented old man. However, waking up at night in a vegetable plot in the village is quite different.

As children we often experienced the joy of living in the present. We never thought of the past or the future. However, adults are obsessed with the past and the future. We believe that our future is fashioned by our past.

We are forever grasping and analysing. Ours is an unending journey. We have to learn, pass examinations, get into lucrative jobs and live in comfort. But none of there activities give us happiness.

Celebrated philosopher Schopenhauer said that most of us are "lumbermen." You look at a tree thinking "What can this tree do for me?" You look at a beautiful girl thinking. "Will I be able to fall in love with her?" You look at your bank balance thinking "Can't I earn more than this?" This way we are always shifting ourselves between the past and the future.

You do not have to be a philosopher to look at a tree or a girl and appreciate their intrinsic beauty. When you look at them without planning for the future, you are living in the present. When you are fully conscious of your faculties, time will stand still giving you immense joy.

I knew of a lyricist who used to look at the fish in a stream with amazement. He would say, "What a beautiful sight? Now he is ready to compose a song and immortalise his feelings. However, if he thinks of the fish as a tasty meal, he is thinking of his future and the joy will vanish.

If you live in the present, you will enjoy happiness in life. Most poets knew the value of consciousness. William Blake has put it succinctly: "He who binds to himself a joy, does the winged life destroy; but he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity's sunrise."

Take this test. Look at a tree and concentrate on its green foliage, beautiful flowers, and juicy fruit. Take in the full scene as it is without thinking of how you will profit by it. Address the tree as "You" and say something pleasant. The tree will respond by swaying in the cool breeze. And you will enjoy the bliss of here and now.

Unfortunately, you cannot enjoy the present in the city. When you stop to look at a big tree, somebody might think that you are planning to cut it down. When you stop to look at a flower, the owner might warn you not to pick it. The city is full of sound and fury. It is not a place to enjoy the beauty of nature. Garbage dumps and stinking fish stalls can make you sick both physically and mentally.

If you are unable to leave the city for good, make it a point to spend some time in the country. Go to a lonely spot unpolluted by man and spend some of your precious moments. Then you will find yourself part of nature. Then it will happen. But you may not be able to express your feelings in words. That is the beauty of real happiness.

If you cannot go to the Himalayas, at least climb a hill or mountain and enjoy the view from a peak. Life in the city is a dull affair with no peaks to climb and no valleys to walk on. City dwellers live a grey life and become mediocre men and women. When you are on the peak of a mountain , you will not think of the past which is dead or the future which is yet to come. So you are in the present. Celebrate it! n