Listen and learn

Most of us are poor listeners. Sometimes we pretend to listen to a speaker without really listening to him. Children who listen to their teachers become good students. Those who do not listen become utter failures in life. The problem with listening is that we do not consider it as a skill that can be improved over the years. Unlike operating a computer, listening is a sensitive skill, perhaps the greatest talent of human beings.

Let me, at the outset, distinguish between hearing and listening. They are not necessarily the same. When sound waves enter our ears, we call it hearing. Listening means understanding what somebody else says. As a result, when you listen there will be a mental reaction. However, you hear so many sounds and voices in the course of a day but there may not be a mental reaction. Experts say that listening is equivalent to the interpretation of the sounds you hear. Hearing is simply an auditory perception of sounds. Similarly, hearing is involuntary but listening requires some effort.

Listening can be done at three levels. First, you keep on looking at the speaker and show signs of interest. However, you do not allow anything to get into your mind. Second, you hear what the speaker says but do not allow the words to penetrate your mind. Third, a good listener hears what the speaker says and responds to his words. This is real listening.

Thousands of people attend election rallies and listen to many speakers. As has been seen, not all the listeners listen properly. Election results show this very clearly. For instance, the Green Party (no politics intended here) fields a number of excellent speakers to address its election meetings. Thousands of people flock to listen to them. On the election day, however, they vote for the Blue Party (no reference to political parties). This simply means that you cannot predict election victory by the number of people who attend a meeting.

Listening is related to your intelligence, attitudes and strength of vocabulary. If a speaker discusses a subtle point giving facts and figures from the Central Bank annual report, the listener may not understand the whole speech. He will keep on looking at the speaker and even applaud him even though he does not understand anything. Secondly, the listener may have deep-rooted attitudes towards the Green Party. Although he attends an election meeting, he will vote for his favourite candidate contesting from the Blue Party. Thirdly, ordinary folks do not understand when a professor speaks at an election meeting. Their vocabulary is limited and they will not understand anything they listen to.

A seasoned speaker or lecturer can at once identify a good listener in the audience. A good listener maintains eye contact with the speaker and shows his interest by bodily gestures such as nodding, leaning his body towards the speaker and sometimes taking down notes. Good listeners are active participants. They listen and question The speaker to clarify certain points. When listeners do not actively participate in a lecture, the speaker feels uncomfortable. When there are no signs of understanding, communication fails.

Although listening is an important skill I am not aware of any institute that conducts courses in listening. However, as teachers we do listening exercises at higher levels but this is a limited operation. As a result, we pick up listening skills through accidental absorption. Many teachers take it for granted that intelligent students are good listeners and others are bad listeners. However, no attempt is made to improve the listening skills of not-so-intelligent students.

Experts believe that not only speech but also listening form part of communication. Even if you deliver another Gettysburg address, an untrained listener may not understand a word of it. Some speakers go on throwing brilliant ideas but nobody picks them up. Therefore, listeners should listen well in order to gather ideas and enrich their minds. In a business meeting, listening is a means of breaking down barriers. If everybody goes on talking without listening, no progress can be made. Even in our domestic life, listening is quite necessary. Just think of a husband who does not listen to his wife. There would be utter chaos in such a household.

Good listeners stand to benefit from the experience and knowledge of those who speak. In a group discussion, when one person speaks others simply wait for their turn without listening to the speaker. This is a sad situation. If you do not listen to others, they too will not listen to you. In order to agree on disagree with a speaker's opinion, you have to listen to him. It is a pre-requisite to learning.

If you cannot listen to a speaker meaningfully, there must be something radically wrong with you. When a speaker has something interesting to say, he will have a number of listeners. Some speakers who do not come prepared start rambling on without giving an opportunity to good listeners. Good speakers keep on looking at the entire group during his talk. This will encourage good listeners.

The listener is an active partner in effective communication. If you go to a police station to lodge a complaint, you will not find a receptive listener. The police officer will take down your complaint most unwillingly. He thinks that you are a nuisance.

In such a situation you will need loads of patience to assess the attitude of the individual with whom you are communicating. In Wole Soinka's "Season of Anomy" two youngsters go to a police station to make a complaint about a missing person. However, the sergeant manning the complaints desk does not even look at them. In order to attract his attention one of the youths leaves a folded five pound note under the register. Then the sergeant picks up his pen and a note book and asks him, "What's your name?".A good listener does not shy away from difficult subjects. He should look beyond the sounds and words of the speaker. If you hate others and have a negative attitude towards speakers, you cannot be a partner in a discussion. This brings us to the other ingredient that good listening depends much on the listener's educational background. Most educated people are broad minded and they can generally listen to criticism without losing their temper.

At school, teachers help students to improve their reading and writing skills. In addition, teachers should train their students' listening skills. Most students think listening is equal to hearing. Certainly not. When you hear a sound, you should be able to interpret it. Even those who are not suffering from auditory difficulties have poor listening skills.

Empathy or feeling with others is a fine way to develop your listening skills. Look at a boy who is crying because he has lost Rs. 10. In your view the boy should not cry because the amount involved is negligible. This is the wrong attitude. You should empathise with the boy and then you will realise that Rs. 10 is a big sum for him.

Another problem connected with listening is that it is easier to talk than to listen. Similarly, we must not think that listening skills are inborn. On the contrary, they can be cultivated like any other good habit. In the absence of instruction manuals everybody can make an effort to be good listeners.

Like children, some adults too expect the world to treat them by making everything entertaining. Advertisers, through the medium of moving images, have succeeded in talking to us in an entertaining way. A beautiful girl uses a particular brand of milk and cycles all over the place giving us the message that it is full of vitamins. We see and listen to the words and decide to buy the particular brand of milk thereafter.

When you attend university or other seat of higher learning you may not receive everything in entertaining packages. You have to make an effort to understand what a lecturer says. This requires considerable training. Sometimes we hear views that militate against our own convictions. Therefore, efficient listening requires an objective, unprejudiced and cooperative attitude.

A good listener allows his fixed opinions challenged. He is ready to take in what others say and consider their credibility. He has no attitude problem as far as knowledge is concerned. He knows that passive listeners are people with little knowledge. Therefore, it is up to you to decide whether to become an active or passive listener.

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