Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.

While this is going on, accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "What is this?"

To which accountant number one replies, "It's that 500 rupees I owe you."

An announcement being made by a pilot of a commercial airline: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land ... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

The chef instructs his apprentice: "You take two thirds of water, one third of cream, one third of broth..."

The apprentice: "But that makes four thirds already!"

Chef:"Well - just take a larger pot!"

A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning."

Her husband replies, "Well, lots of dogs can do that."

The wife responds, "But we've never subscribed to any!"