Four-year-old Bill was surprised why his relatives from another part of the country talk in a funny way and sound a bit funny too. He was talking about this with his mother. "They think we have an accent," she replied. "But it's them that have an accent, right?" Bill said. "We talk in a normal way and they talk in a funny way"

"Everybody talks in different ways" his mother tried to explain. "To them, it seems that we talk very slowly and also that all our words are d-r-a-w-n out."

Bill's eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?"

A man who was a new recruit at a transport company was processing his first accident report, so he was being particularly attentive.

The driver had hit a deer on the highway, and the result was a severely damaged hood and fender. The new worker's serious mood was broken, however, when he reached the section of the report that asked, "Speed of other vehicle?"

The driver had put, "Full gallop."

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told the doctor that he was having trouble with one of his medications.

"Which one?" the doctor asked.

'The patch; the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" he said.

The doctor inspected him and discovered that the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the doctor's instructions include the removal of the old patch before applying a new one.