 Essential tips for approaching women
Don’t open with ‘Can I buy you a...’
 Buying a girl a drink is considered by many as a great way to break
the ice but it’s not one of the best ways to approach a woman.
Offering to buy her a drink as a way of introducing yourself
immediately puts you in a subordinate position. You’re basically telling
her that you are uninteresting, and have so little to offer that you’ll
buy her a present in exchange for 10 minutes of her time. It’s fine to
offer to buy her a drink once the conversation is rolling – polite even
– but do not offer to buy her a drink before you’ve exchanged at least a
few sentences.
 Don’t use pick-up lines
Do not use pick-up lines. Period. Sure, some of them are funny, but
do you really want her to take you for a joke? Pick-up lines don’t work,
and many women put up a force-field as soon as they hear one.
Also, stay away from unimaginative compliments. A hundred guys have
complimented her eyes, another thousand have told her she has a great
smile. If you’re going to say something, say something original. Hey,
maybe you should ask her a question!
 Ask her something
You should always approach women with questions. It’s the best way to
trigger a conversation, which is what you’re really after. Try to stay
away from subjects like her appearance; other guys talk to her about her
looks all the time. Make an observation about your surroundings and
solicit her feedback or ask for her opinion on a playful subject.
 Address her group
People travel in packs for a reason: there is safety in numbers. It
is for this same reason that women don’t want to be picked out and
separated from their group. Singling a girl out will make her feel
insecure and it might cause her friends to feel protective. That’s why
the first thing you need to do when approaching a woman is address her
group as a whole. Befriend everybody, then gradually direct more and
more of your attention to your target. Also, by befriending her friends,
you’ll increase your status in her eyes.
 Speak clearly
When you first meet a woman, you should speak a little louder than
you usually do, and speak louder than that again if you’re in a club
where the noise can make it hard to hear. Speaking clearly will make you
seem more confident and it will attract attention.
If you have to repeat yourself every time you say something, you’re
not speaking clearly enough. And don’t lean in just so she can hear you,
it’s a subordinate gesture. You want to talk like you’re in command of
the room.
 Make eye contact
Steady eye contact suggests confidence, and women are attracted to
confidence. Remember, you are not trying to catch her eye from across
the room – that’s for seventh graders – rather, you should make eye
contact as you approach her.
You should also want to be judicious with your eye contact. Don’t
stare at her (you’re not trying to read her mind). Just maintain eye
contact whenever one of you is speaking. |
