Loving the freedom of lover !
by Nadira Gunatilleke
There is a bird in the locked
golden cage. If the owner really loves the bird he/she never locks the
cage. If the bird really loves its owner it will fly freely in the open
sky and definitely return to the cage, no matter how far it flies.
But it is not about cages, birds or owners. It is all about love,
trust and privacy of human beings. These three words never get along
well when it comes to most of the relationships. But should it be that
way in the 21st century ?
 “Oh ! Dear please don’t forward those XXX emails to my ABC email. I
share my password with my girlfriend/wife. If she sees that the sender
is a girl, there will be 101 questions for me or she will pretend
unnoticed but.....you know...
So please send those to my XZY email address”. “Ok. No problem. I’ll
keep it in my mind. But what is the point staying with such a narrow
minded woman ? Or at least why don’t you explain such minor things to
her and make her understand ? You can do it because you are not having
`affairs’ with any one including me “. I am sure you, yourself have
experienced such incidents at least once in your life or definitely your
friends have such experiences. What do you think about it ?
“Darling my boyfriend has the password for my XZY email and please
keep forwarding normal funny emails to that address because I want to
show him that I use it regularly and it is my only email address.
Meanwhile keep sending all the other emails to my company email address.
You are free to send anything there.
“You know these things....it’s hard to deal....but what to do.”
This is nothing but what one of my close female friends told me a few
days ago. Is it natural or unnatural ? Should it be that way ?
“You know.... I cannot tell everything to my girlfriend. But I can
tell everything and anything to you because you are my best lady friend.
You know..... revealing your body and revealing your heart are entirely
two different things. You can do the first with your wife but not the
second !....Oh ! I will call you later.
I can’t talk to you right now......(because my boyfriend is with me
!)”.
What do you think ? I think how stupid it is !
What is love, trust and privacy. If you really love someone, you need
to trust him/her completely no matter what it costs. The most important
fact is you need to respect his/her privacy just like you want him/her
to respect your privacy. Without trust and respect there will be no love
at all. Then there will only be a `relationship’ or a` partnership’. In
return you do not need to hide anything from your lover. What is the
point if you cannot share everything with him/her and he/she cannot
understand who you are ? Here comes the password for love. You should
never ever ask the password for your lover’s email address. In return
your partner should be able to share everything in his/her email with
you.
Is it worth losing your unique characteristics in the name of love ?
It is up to you to answer. Are you in love with someone or do you just
`tolerate’ him/her because you love his/her other materials including
the colour of skin and nice car ? Decades ago `I love you’ meant `I love
you’. But today the meaning has expanded to its maximum ! Today “I love
you’ means I trust you, I respect you and I know what human rights are.
Violation of human rights does not start from the state.
It starts from your own home ! May be even before you settle down in
your own home ! |
