 Too many fires
A new firefighter was being trained by an old fire chief.
“How would you react if a sudden fire flared up on the front of the
building?” asked the fire chief.
 “Break out a fire hose and start spraying it, chief”. answered the
new firefighter.
“How would you react if another fire flared up in the back of the
building?” asked the fire chief.
“Break out another fire hose and start spraying it, chief”. answered
the new firefighter.
“And if another huge fire flared up in the basement, how would you
react?” asked the fire chief.
“Break out another fire hose”, answered the new firefighter.
“Now wait a minute, son,” said the fire chief. “Where are all these
fire hoses coming from?”
The new firefighter answered, “The same place where all of the fires
are coming from, chief”.
The smart way to catch burglars
It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife
informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie
started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in
the shed who were busy stealing his things.
He ran back inside right away and called the cops, who asked him “Are
there any intruders in your house?” to which Charlie replied no and
explained his circumstances. The cops told Charlie that all patrol cars
were otherwise occupied, and that he should just lock his door and a
uniformed cop would be at his house when one was free.
Charlie answered, “Alright,” hung up, waited 30 seconds, and then
called the cops again.
“Hello, I just called a short while ago because there were people
stealing things from my shed. I want to let you know that they’re not a
problem anymore because I’ve just shot every one of them!”
Charlie then hung up the phone. In five short minutes, three patrol
cars, a SWAT team, and an ambulance arrived, and of course, the cops
caught the burglars in the act.
One of the cops snapped at Charlie: “I thought you said that you shot
everyone of them!”
“I thought you said there were no patrol cars free!” Charlie
answered.
Money
There was a man who worked all his life and saved all of his money.
He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than
just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now
listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the
casket with me.
 I wanna take my money to the afterlife.”
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he
died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife
was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they
finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close
the casket, the wife said “Wait just a minute!” She had a shoe box with
her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.
Her friend said, “ I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that
money in the casket”. “Yes,” the wife said, “I promised. I’m a good
Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I was going to put that
money in that casket with him.”
“You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket
with him?”
“I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I
wrote him a check”. |
