A new political culture

Prez MR was in a happy and relaxed mood after the ruling party's landslide victory. He intends to introduce a new political culture and rebuild the nation which has suffered numerous losses during three decades of LTTE terror.

The Prez is putting the finishing touches to his new Cabin-Net, which is to be announced shortly. Introducing a new political culture at the House of Diyawanna and ushering Sri Lanka to new economic horizons are his priorities.

He said the "distinguished and historic" election victory of the UPFA would be used to make Sri Lanka the new Wonder of Asia. He called upon the newly-elected parliamentarians to introduce a new political culture and said that it is the undeniable task and duty of all MPs to build an excellent nation for the next generation.

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Red revolution

The Bell Party is in an utter mess after their humiliating defeat. Although they secured 41 seats at the 2004 polls, the Red Shirts have managed just five seats this time.

Following their election defeat, a major power struggle has erupted in the Trophy Alliance. Fonny, making the maximum use of a sympathy vote and award-winning 'acting' by his spouse during their shameful election campaign, closely overtook Sandal-Netti in the preferential race in Colombo. That has forced the Bell Party leaders to push the panic button.

While Ah-Know-Mah, on Fonny's instructions, is insisting on bringing one of their confidants - an ex-Army officer, for the solitary slot that they are likely to get from the list that is national, the Bell Boys want to bring back Lull-Khanth who was defeated at the polls in Rajarata.

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Lucky captain Fool

Captain Fool made one of the most calculated political moves at the election that is general. Instead of contesting from his native Village-Five district, he opted for the district that is black and fat, in which both the Bell Party seniors have joined the governing types.

He jolly well knew that the Bell Boys could secure one seat from Villege-Five and that would eventually go to Vee-Jee-Ta Hey-Rat. Even if they get a maximum of two seats from the Capital, that would be secured by Fonny and Sandal-Netti.

Hence, the Captain Fool, for once kept his cool and did a wise move by opting for the Kalu-Fat district. True that he polled little over 20,000 votes, but he was lucky enough to make it after a tense finish.

In contrast, Sanna Boy did it in style with an explosive innings on his political debut. He polled over 74,000 votes to finish on top of the ruling party's list.

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Sam loses to a novice

Ra-Blue's two blue-eyed boys have lost in Maa-Thara and Go-al districts. Va-Abey, who was dreaming also at becoming the future leader of the Elephant Party failed to secure his seat in Go-al while Ratty Sa-Rock was rejected by the people in Maa-Thara.

Sa-Rock was hurt that his 'beloved' leader allowed Wedding Sam to make it to the green list in Maa-thara, a move which cost Sa-Rock his seat. But Ra-Blue consoled Sa-Rock by saying that Wedding Sam has actually 'lost' his pride.

"Don't worry boy, I will find you a suitable higher position. Man-Gaala can't crow about his victory. He has actually lost! He has been defeated by a political novice, contesting a general election for the first time. Man-Gaala should actually feel ashamed of his poor performance," were Ra-Blue's consoling words to Sa-Rock.

Despite making it in a photo finish, political veteran Sam was beaten by Buddi-Car Pathi who finished on top in the Green's Maa-Thara list. The Elephant Party secured only two seats from the district and Sam was fortunate enough to scrape through.

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Ra-Blue’s excuse

Ah-Killer and Sa-Rock cautioned Ra-Blue on a possible plot for a regime change in the Elephant Party after the election defeat.

Though Ra-Blue was happy to see the defeat of Ka-Roo Jay in Village-Five, he still saw a possible threat to his leadership. Hence, he decided to issue a special statement after the polls. Even before his party seniors demand his stepping down from party leadership, Ra-Blue gave a lame excuse for his party’s defeat.

He has blamed the electoral system, introduced by none other than his uncle JRJ, saying the Elephant Party was defeated not due to a fault of his leadership, but due to the preferential system. No doubt a King Kekille verdict!