Dear Erica
Dear Erica,
I’m a 22 year-old girl. From the age of 7, I’ve been suffering with a
condition known as agoraphobia. When I was 11 years, it got worse. I
went to school up to the age of 14 and after that, I had to stop 5 years
of schooling due to my family’s financial problems. Later on, my phobia
got worse and it turned into a depression.
By the age of 19, I came to Sri Lanka with my mother and was boarded
in a convent for 3 years where I felt like a prisoner in a tiny room.
Until recently, we rented out a house and we are now living happily.
I’ve recently started a training course on hair and beauty culture but
since I’m doing it after staying alone without moving or socialising for
years, it kind of makes me extremely nervous when I think of using
public transport, handling money and speaking confidently.
I always fear of what will happen to my life as the shame of not
having qualifications or when someone notices me as not smart or bold
makes me anxious at times. I’m still courageous and determined to face
things bravely as I’m also keen on completing my schooling somehow by
self-studying. But still I feel very upset when I think about moving
forward. Please help me!
- Nervous
Dear Nervous,
I appreciate the fact that amidst difficult situations in your life,
you are determined to move forward and better your life. I agree that it
is difficult getting yourself adjusted to a new way of living,
especially with a condition like yours where you think that it will be
an obstacle in moving forward. But change is something that we have to
accept in life. It’s a good move that you have decided to do a beauty
culture course. It will give you a very gentle exposure to the social
world, where you can take things slow and steady.
Take things easy, one step at a time. Maybe you can start with the
small things like taking a short walk in the lane, or getting something
from the nearby grocery shop, etc. Do things that you can manage to do
alone. And as time progresses, you can eventually get familiar with your
routine and activities.
At the same time meet with people who you might get comfortable with
as you come into regular contact with them. However, take time your own
time and space.
Don’t worry or get discouraged if things end up in an unexpected way.
Since you’re just 22, I strongly encourage you to continue your studies
too. After receiving your problem, I read through agoraphobia and
understood that self exposure is one of the many ways you can deal with
it effectively.
However, you might want to consult a professional on and off if you
need some extra help in shaping your new life. Whatever you might be
going through, don’t feel insecure about not being ‘smart’ or ‘bold’. As
human beings, we are all vulnerable at some point in our lives. We all
possess weaknesses that we have to live with and deal with. I believe
that you deserve all the happiness and success after what you’ve been
through in life. All the very best to you!
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