(Circles of Fire)

Agni Chakra (Chapter 14)

By kathleen Jayawardane

Translated by Ranga Chandrarathne and Edited by Indeewara Thilakarathne

'Formation of relationships…

Human relationships…

Family…society…shame …'

'How does the family help society? How does the interaction between husband and wife help the family? How does morality and the sense of shame help husband and wife's interaction?

'What is the function of shame for the integrity of the family unit?'

The discussion on the television studio was warming up not because of the mediator's fluency in conducting it or his insightful inquiries. Why should I be disturbed by this insignificant discussion as I had held international forums on profound themes? This discussion was not the issue.

I recalled that I was confused when I sat on a high chair in what was known as the 'Make-up room'. Was that shock a deadly scare which emanated from the wrinkles etched into my face, that I could see reflected by a large mirror under the flashlight? Today is my sixtieth birthday. It was because of the birthday that Shantha had brought a plate of kiribath (milk rice) on to the breakfast table. It was an indication that she still remembers my birthday.

I tried to ease myself into the chair while wiping my face with a handkerchief. Was this uneasiness caused by a heavy meal of milk rice after a long time?

The panel discussion commenced a little while ago. The topic of the discussion was 'Society and Shame'. It was a consolation that the moderator directed the first question at Wathsala Danasuriya. He began answering the question by citing the Maha Mangala Suttta; the approach was an easy way out.

He cited the beneficial factors as if he owned the patent for the Maha Mangala Sutta. He got an easy tool enabling him to drag on the discussion for a long time. Were millions of people ready to listen to this nonsense? Is the elimination of shame problematic only in the relationship between husband and wife?

It was not because I did not learn many scriptural stanzas by heart that I could not base my proposition on such a stanza. It was because I approached the subject from the perspective of Freudian Psychoanalysis, which would have been timely. It would also add weight to the discussion. The proposition would have been more insightful if the views and opinions of philosophers such as Hegel, Karl Marx and Lucas were presented in connection to it.

If so, the views of the modern cultural critics could have been brought into the discussion.

Few extracts from French literary theorist and philosopher, Ronald Barthes, who presented new theories on literary criticism from the 1980s, would have been useful for this. I know through experience that there are large numbers of people, university students as well as viewers who have no access to the internet. My reputation will go up presenting these theories instead of spreading archetypal beliefs.

"Yes, you have presented a fine example on the topic of Society and Shame…"

The moderator tried to give Danasuriya a pause. I prepared for my turn.

"Yes, Prof. Siriniwasa, as an academic and acclaimed writer, I would like to know how far this perception of 'shame' is associated with our culture"

" Sanskrutiya is culture in English", I relaxed on the chair.

''Culture' is one of the complex words in English. A Western philosopher had stressed it… "

After that I paused a little to recall the name of that philosopher but I could not access the pages of my memory on the spot and in such a haste!

"He wrote several important critical essays on Culture, Society and theory" I said and turned on Jacques Derrida, who presented Michael Facault's emphasis on 'Power'. Now I emphasised Focault's focus, the relationship between power and the physique as well as power and knowledge.

Danasuriya who was about to sneeze tried to cover the face with the hand. Though my time was about to be over, there were no questions from the moderator. The moderator, who elaborated on the Maha Mangala Sutta better than Danasuriya was suddenly dumfound.

Danasuriya commenced the second round by shifting on to a Jataka Story. He related with exquisite details the story of Prince Mahinsasa and the aquatic devil in the pond. He interpreted Deva Dharma as 'fear and shame'. At once I recalled Shriya and then Veronica. Shriya is Danasuriya's wife and I don't know whether Veronica is related to Danasuriya.

On the other hand, I wondered why I didn't recall Shantha though Shriya and Veronica. Was Danasuriya as cynical about me as I was about him? I sighed. I felt a certain void and indifference. Danasuriya kept on preaching the adverse consequences of eliminating shame. How long would I have to endure this vacuous talk?

A pain came upon and then vanished from my left leg and then it emerged under my belly. The pain, which may have been a cramp was not a strong one. Yet the pain intensified moment by moment. Now it was unbearable. I was shocked. Were all these pains caused in ageing? In addition to the pain, I experienced fatigue and unrest. My eyes panned in search of a glass of water and stopped at the frowning camera. The television studio was gradually turning into a torture camber.

I closed my eyes hoping that the camera would not focus on me! How could the viewers in arm-chairs and on beds know the torture under the camera that participants in a live telecast programme suffered? I looked at the watch. I felt perspiration on my forehead. These drops of perspiration which I wiped out several times with the handkerchief came back again and again.

Over and again I was reminded of Shantha. Whatever my beliefs were, she had loads of strange ideas on shame. But she had no forum to present them. I saw a headline 'He who did not know that he was a great poet', appeared in a newspaper.

How many such great poets and philosophers could have been there in the world? How many women who were not described as 'great women' by unkind language, have been there? How many female philosophers would have been born and died? Were there humans who could salvage such treasures of knowledge that even demons would protect?

Thank God, my stomachache subsided. There were instances where ardent atheists would need God's mercy. I slowly massaged my stomach by putting my hand stealthily through the Safari. Though my body temperature seemed a little high, the pain had completely gone. I loosened myself up on the chair and listened to Dannasuriya's nonsense:

"The entire Asian family life relies upon shame….one who eliminates shame has no conscience…"

'What a devil', I would mime in silence. But I dissolved the sarcastic smile into a friendly one. I nodded as if approving his idea. He too smiled at me. We who were imposed to be saints shamelessly talked about shame.

Footnote

The Maha Mangala Suttta- A discourse by the Buddha found in the Pali canon teaches what is beneficial and harmful.

The Jataka Story-A Buddha's birth story.