Practise positive 'self talk'

I still remember the charming, pretty and vivacious girl who used to tell herself, sometimes aloud, "Nothing happens here the way I want. I'm sick of this job." Every morning she came up with a new problem connected with her office work. Naturally, everything went wrong almost everyday because of her negative thoughts.

There was another employee at the same office with a different attitude. For her nothing was impossible. When she was faced with a problem, she would say, "Well, this seems to be a difficult job but I'll find a way to do it." In fact, she did all her work with a positive outlook and reaped benefits.

'Self talk' or talking to yourself can be either positive or negative. If you tell yourself that you cannot pass a particular examination, the chances are that you will never get through it. On the other hand, if you tell yourself that you are going to come out with flying colours, you will achieve success.

This type of positive or negative self talk gets embedded in your mind in your early childhood. When a child says that he cannot do something, he will never be able to do it. The danger is that the child will carry this habit into his adulthood and become a failure in life. All positive and negative thought processes get embedded in your subconscious mind.

A positive attitude will help one achieve success

In the "Village in the Jungle" the protagonist Silindu used to talk to himself. He was thought to be 'Tikak Pissu' (slightly mad). But there are so many Silindus in our midst. You can see many youngsters walking on the pavement talking to themselves. Unlike Silindu they are talking to their loved ones on the mobile phones. Some of them forget where they are or what they are doing. There have been many fatal accidents on the rail track involving such youngsters "talking to themselves!"

Psychologically, self talk is good for your well-being. Its pattern colours your thinking influencing your life situation. However, in most situations self talk revolves around your problems, failures and obstacles in life. When something goes wrong, you tend to put the blame on somebody else avoiding direct responsibility. Negative self talk drags you down to a sorry state of affairs mentally and physically.

Some people tend to think that they are suffering from some disease. They can be seen consulting eminent medical specialists to find out whether they are physically sound. Most of them are probably suffering from psychosomatic illnesses. Most of these 'patients' are doing a great disservice to themselves both physically and psychologically. Sometimes, their negative thoughts lead to feelings of sadness, despair and hopelessness. Those who wish to lead a happy and meaningful life should listen to themselves. If their internal dialogue is negative, they have to find a way to get over such unhealthy thoughts.

Human life is full of happy and unhappy situations. Life is not a bed of roses. In fact, your happy moments in life are fewer than unhappy situations. Whenever you feel that you are unhappy over some event you can take it as a challenge and turn it to be positive.

Those suffering from a physical disability too may feel that they cannot compete with healthy people. If you visit the Fort Railway Station, you will meet a one armed gram seller. He carries a basketfull of gram packets and moves from one train to another and crosses crowded platforms as if nothing has happened to him! He is so agile with his feet that even an able-bodied man cannot compete with him in his chosen job.

Although positive thinking comes naturally to some people, it is the exception more than the rule. Unfortunately, it is one of the most difficult tasks in the world to educate people on the need for positive thinking. This is because most people are not willing to change their habits.

For those who wish to change their attitudes the first step is to be aware of the problem, whatever that may be. Then only can they talk to themselves on a positive note.

You will feel sorry for the man who repeatedly says, "Doctors can't diagnose my disease. My hearing is defective and vision is getting weaker with every passing day. Even when a kind doctor tells him, "You don't seem to have a serious problem," he tells his colleagues "That doctor is telling me lies to please me!" Whatever the mind expects, it finds. Negative thinking is bound to create a virtual reality.

Once a well-known neurosurgeon told one of his patients, "Now you are paralysed. Try to use a wheelchair or crutches to go about." The patient was devastated for a moment. The next moment he told himself, "I am not going to be confined to a wheelchair, I will walk without any crutches." With that positive frame of mind he started walking and travelling.

Negative self talk is addictive. Therefore, treat it like any other bad habit such as smoking or alcoholism. If you are unable to change your negative thoughts try to redirect them into a positive mode. Positive self talk is very powerful and it can bring about a sea change in your life.