Wife catching
The Socialist Republic of
Vietnam is a multi-national country. A majority of Vietnamese people who
account for 88 percent of the country’s population live mainly in the
delta of the Red River, the coastal plains of the centre and the Mekong
River delta.
  Fifty-three other smaller nationalities and ethnic groups live mostly
in the mountain areas from North to South, covering two-third of the
country. These small ethnic groups have very strange marriage customs. A
strange custom is the practice of ‘wife catching’ which is a ritual of
the Red Dao ethnic people in Mo Si San hamlet in the Phong Tho district.
The young man supposedly kidnaps the girl of his dreams at sunset
with the help of his close friends and keeps her at his family home for
three days. It is believed that the more friends involved, the longer
and the happier time the young couple will have together. Although the
girl has agreed to the kidnapping process, she puts up a struggle for
theatrical purposes. After the three-day period the couple is considered
husband and wife and they return to the wife’s home to break the news to
her family members. In most cases, the families have agreed to the
marriage so this ‘wife catching’ ritual is only a ceremonial event.
This ritual usually falls on the four Taboo Days of the tiger, bird,
thunder and wind, during springtime. The Red Dao ethnic people believe
that if the villagers go to the field or to the forest on these days
they will be killed by a tiger, or lightning and have a very poor crop
in the New Year caused by wind and birds.
 According to the elders in Mo Si San hamlet in the Red Dao culture,
it was customary for the family of the ‘wife to be’ to demand for the
family of the ‘groom to be’ to prove that the groom and his family have
means to provide for the bride. Very often the gifts included 70 white
silver coins, two pigs, 20 wine jars and money for the wedding ceremony.
It is also a custom of these ethnic people to organise a formal
wedding ceremony only after the couple has produced many children and
have had many years of prosperity hence it is not uncommon for couples
to be in their 60s or 70s before holding the ritual.
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