Platonic love defies definition

The traditional definition of platonic love is something most of us are familiar with. According to this definition, platonic love is a chaste and strong type of love that is non-sexual. In other words, this is a rare kind of love that binds people spiritually. Those who are involved in a platonic love affair may wish to see each other very often just like normal lovers. They may also write love letters or exchange gifts. It is generally believed that such lovers do not wish to lead a wedded life or to have sex on mutual consent.

The term 'amor platonicus', from which 'platonic love' is derived, has a very long history. The Florentine scholar Marsilio Ficino coined the term 'amor platonicus' way back in the 15th Century. However, the celebrated Greek philosopher Plato examined the concept of platonic love in his 'Symposium'. In a dialogue with Plato, prophetess Diotima considered platonic love as a means of ascent to contemplation of the divine. Both Plato and Diotima believed that the best form of love is the love of divinity.

Due to the rapid march of civilisation, Plato's ideas have undergone a sea change during the past centuries. Today, platonic love is rarely equated with love of divinity. Logical and rationalist thinking has led to the conclusion that platonic love means non-sexual love between two human beings, usually a man and a woman.

Gradually, authors and poets also wrote about platonic love giving it a fresh colouring. For instance, English writer Sir William Davenant referred to platonic love in 1636. What is more, platonic love became a fashionable topic for discussion at the English royal court. This was very much evident during the reign of King Charles I and Queen Henrietta Maria.

Jawaharlal Nehru and Lady Edwina Mountbatten. Lord Mountbatten is second from left

Can we draw a line between love and sex? Here's some food for thought.

Some time ago, when reading was a regular pastime, the chief clerk of a government department went to buy a book for his teenage daughter's birthday. After browsing through many books, he finally decided to buy a particular book. When the salesman approached him, the customer asked him timidly, "No sex in it, I hope". He bought the book only when the salesman replied, "No Sir, it's a love story."

According to this episode, love is different from sex. However, in every love story, sometimes unknown to the reader, there is a great deal of sexual instinct. That means love and sex are inseparable. Any psychologist would tell you that sex is the climax of human love. In the light of this view, love is invariably connected with sex.

At the beginning, love is a vague desire that produces a pleasant sense of anticipation. Young girls tend to love their celluloid heroes, musicians, sportsmen, and sometimes their teachers. But they are in no mood to have sex with anyone of them. This comes very close to the traditional definition of platonic love. However, we cannot come to conclusions so easily.

Some teachers fall in love with their students. This is usually referred to as platonic love. When this happens both the teacher and the student begin to enjoy their mutual company. They exchange glances and gifts. Sometimes, the affair blossoms into a full-fledged romance. If there is no major age or social barrier, they will even get married. This is something inevitable. So, platonic love will not stay the same for ever.

Most platonic love affairs do not end up in marriage due to many reasons. For instance, a young girl who falls in love with her English professor may not wish to marry an aged, bespectacled and married man.

Similarly, the professor also might not want to marry somebody who is too young for his age. Apart from such limitations there is a possibility for platonic love to end up in marriage.

Theory apart, let's consider a world famous platonic love affair between two eminent people: India's first Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru and Lady Edwina Mountbatten. Their love affair blossomed during a 1947 trip to Mashobra, a hilly area in India. According to Edwina's younger daughter - Lady Pamela Hicks - the affair, though not physical, was one of many that her mother had during her lifetime. In one of Nehru's love letters to Edwina he says, "There was a deeper attachment between us, that some uncontrollable force, of which I was dimly aware, drew us to each other."

In view of the facts mentioned above, we may have to redefine platonic love to embrace new areas.Today platonic love can also mean a secret love or an unrequited love.