The fisherman

Mr. and Mrs. Walton invited their new neighbours over to dinner. During the dinner Mr. Walton was asked by his new neighbours what he does for a living.

Eight-year old Brian Walton jumped in and said, "Daddy is a fisherman!" To which Mrs. Walton replied, "Brian, why do you say that. Your daddy is a stockbroker, not a fisherman."

"No mom. Everytime we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says 'I just caught another fish'."

Brokers' calculations

A stock analyst and a Wall Street broker went to the races. The broker suggested to bet $10,000 on a horse. The analyst was sceptical, saying that he wanted to first understand the rules and look on horses. The broker whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for success, but he could not convince the analyst.

"You are too theoretical," he said and bet on a horse. That horse came first bringing him a lot of money. Triumphantly, he exclaimed: "I told you, I knew the secret!"

"What is your secret?" the analyst asked.

"It is rather easy. I have two children, three and five-years old. I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine."

"But, three and five is eight," the analyst protested.

"I told you, you are too theoretical!" the broker replied, "Haven't I just shown experimentally that my calculation is correct?!"

The Correction

A young stockbroker decided to take a day off and visit some of his professors in his old school. When he made his way to the entrance he noticed a dog attacking a small child. He quickly grabbed the dog and throttled it with his bare hands.

The next day the local newspaper reported the story with the headline, "Valiant student saves boy from ferocious dog".

The stockbroker called the editor and strongly suggested that a correction be issued and that the paper will tell the readers he was a successful Wall Street broker and not a student.

The next day the newspaper issued a correction and the headline read, "Pompous stockbroker kills school mascot".

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