We don't need you anymore

I would like to say to all children to whom parents become disposable props once the children attain, what they think to be, the stage of non dependence on their parents: you can mould your individual life, but can you find your own genes?

In life everything is interdependent or intertwined. Yet we go about it as if it is not so. We think we are not relying on or do not wish to depend on anyone to lead our life. But nothing can be further from the truth, even though to try and live without troubling others is a commendable way of leading one's life.

Dependence

When we talk of dependence, many will think only of the economic side. But life itself has so many dependent factors that it is virtually impossible to go through it on our own. The problem with modern society is that the search for wealth overshadows all other aspects of life to such an extent that we think life is only about economic wellbeing.

And so, all our thinking flows from that one source of ill gotten idea.

Let us all face it. At one stage - or should I say some stage - in our life, we all have to face this dilemma.

The world thinks that you are not needed anymore, once you retire from what is generally thought of as active life which for all intent and purpose means a financially productive life.

Whether it is in your work place; whether it is in your birth place; in your own home; or wherever you are; even in a monastery; you are thought to be a redundant being once you stop being a money making machine, which to many is the only productive way of life.

Be it your wife; or your children; your kith and kin; your colleagues; even the very society you lived in, to which you have contributed so much time of your life; will think you are not needed anymore.

Once you reach that phase in life where - by reason of your age, on account of your health, or simply because you are tired of life - you cease to be useful; you become dispensable. Don't get me wrong. Not needed anymore does not mean not loved.

If you have lived a life worthy of love, you certainly will be looked upon with affection.

And, if you had led a mean life, you may still be tolerated. But the moment you stop being of some use to some one - anyone; stop being productive in some way; you become a superfluous being and the world will conclude that they don't need you anymore.

Or else, at the least: attachments will become tolerance; care will become careless; endurance will become sufferance; and, life itself will death become.

Secret

The secret to happy living is to lead a useful life even after what is thought to be the age of retirement.

If one has worked diligently, with or without a cause, and not just to seek applause; if one has lived life expressly and not entirly to impress; if you have not overtly strived to make your presence noticed, but simply let your absence felt; then retirement is not a worry. Retirement need not be withdrawal, seclusion or uselessness.

We see parents become the caretakers of their grandchildren. Teachers become tuition masters. Public servants become valuable assets to the private sector.

The rich become philanthropic. These and many more occupations, keeps us active and useful. Thus, in retirement one need not withdraw from association one has had with others.

There is no need to seek seclusion and shut your self from the society of all except intimate friends.

In fact, retirement is the opportunity given to you to indulge in all those activities that you wanted to immerse yourself in, but did not do so for want of time.

Above all, it is the time in your life which you can devote to be of use to your brethren; to society; and to work for the good of others.

If you have failed to do it thus far, retirement gives you the time and chance to impart some happiness into the lives of others; and prevent being not wanted anymore.

If I were to define the essential interrelated traits of human beings, it would be: work is their vital activity; human beings are conscious beings; human beings are social beings; human beings tend to universality; human beings are born free and wish to remain free.

Humans

However, as social beings, humans need to feel needed. A need is something that is necessary for us to live a healthy life.

Needs are distinguished from wants because a deficiency in need would cause a clear negative outcome, such as dysfunction or death.

How often have we seen perfectly healthy people, once they retire from their occupation; failing to be otherwise occupied, age quickly.

They feel not needed and hence, the urge to live leaves them.

Indeed, the need to feel needed could be one of the most driving forces in human nature.

To fulfil it, we reach out to others, knowing they will grasp our hands. We may not truly need each other, but life sure wouldn't be the same without that rapport.

To all those who think that there is no need for someone any more, I would like to say: remember always that people want to feel needed.

They want to help out and be a part of what you are doing. When you satisfy this desire in people, you receive their admiration, loyalty, respect and cooperation.

Also, older people can be a powerful source of ideas, of motivation, of business contacts - if you encourage their participation. It's very, very difficult to accomplish anything alone. And it is quite unnecessary as well.

Everyone, no matter how secure they seem today, no matter how old or young, rich or poor, will one day face the same predicament of feeling not needed anymore.

To make them feel needed will make you feel happy and, apart from that, needed. I have come to learn from my journey through relationships that life is mostly about making the other person happy.

There is no greater happiness for the self than to see someone happy as a result of our actions. You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.

You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. This, folks, is the ultimate secret to a happy and contented life.

That is life. As for me, I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. - Robert Byrne

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