What makes a man?

When he is without money, he eats rice and curry at home; when he has money, he eats rice and curry in a fine dining restaurant. When he is without money, he rides bicycle to work; when he has money, he rides bicycle to exercise. When he is without money, he walks to eat food; when he has money, he walks to burn food. When he is without money, he wishes to get married; when he has money, he wishes to get divorced. When he is without money, his wife becomes his secretary; when he has money, his secretary becomes his wife. When he is without money, he acts like a rich man; when he has money, he acts like a pauper. He says the share market is bad, but he keeps on speculating. He says money is evil, but keeps on craving for it. He says high positions are lonely, but he keeps on struggling for it. He says gambling and drinking is bad, but he keeps on indulging in it. Man O Man! He never does what he says and never says what he does.

These are traits attributable to most males of the species; probably not all, but definitely to the majority of them. They may not admit it; they may deny it vehemently; they may laugh it off; but at least some, if not all, of these traits will be present - consciously or sub consciously. This certainly is the paradox of all men. Therefore, manhood is all about ambiguities, anomalies, and contradictions in his character. That is why most men are an enigma and a puzzle to women.

The term man denotes an adult human male even though it sometimes refers to humanity as a whole. Hence, the term manhood implies to the various qualities and characteristics attributed to men such as strength and male sexuality. The term manhood therefore describes the period in a human male's life after he has transitioned from boyhood, and symbolises a male's coming of age in a physical sense. I say physical because the term manhood is associated with masculinity and virility, which refer to male qualities and male gender roles rather than his character. The character of a man, like that of women, develops throughout his lifespan and in most instances, blossoms late.

However, what makes a man? This question persists from time immemorial with no two answers alike. The responses too have been varied and many. "Man is what he reads," contends poet Joseph Brodsky. "The character of a man is known from his conversations," argues Menander, the Greek dramatist. While novelist Mark Twain claims, "Clothes make the man," as "Naked people have little or no influence on society." To break it down to the basics; there are no common traits that essentially make up the masculine gender. Nevertheless, though roles vary slightly in each culture, there are certain vital characteristics that appear in almost every male. Whatever the positive or negative manifestations of these may be, they are what make a man what he is. To begin with, I would say that the health and virility of a male is what makes him an appealing candidate for partnership with the opposite sex, while his strength and stature still prove to be influential factors in both the social and business world. Then again, throughout time, a man's ability and desire to provide for those that depend on him has been central to his masculinity. While utilizing a combination of physical ability, wit, and ambition to succeed, his role as the breadwinner is what drives a man to achieve. No matter the geographic location or social situation, men work primarily to feed and create an environment of comfort for their wife and family.

This is the commonly accepted role of the man within the social system and proves a formidable challenge that every man must accept even though this concept is fast changing.

The role of man as the aggressor in finding a mate, is recognized in most cultures; leaving him to seek out and pursue his interest. Although this sounds like an archaic and primeval practice, it is still a very large part of the courting process in modern society.

In fact, this image of man's independence has become so accepted, and even glorified in mainstream culture, that married men often feel compelled to follow this independence; and to make it an excuse for their indiscretions.

Further, the suppression of emotions is a feature ingrained in men from a very early age. The phrase "boys don't cry" sums it up. Whatever his position, a man must manage without regard to the emotional effect that issues have on him.

The ability to suppress personal feelings enables men to maintain an objective view of the circumstance and carry on. A man is then better able to make rational decisions. Men rely on their intellectual capabilities rather than on emotion or intuition. Utilization of reason and logic enable men to view situations objectively and thus respond to them in a rational way.

Only factual information is considered, and "feelings" are deemed unsuitable evidence on which to base decisions. Education and the acquisition of knowledge are also important factors in male development, though this applies to women as well in today's society.

Men are prone to adopt leadership roles and take the initiative to act on the other's behalf. This can manifest itself negatively in the form of dominant behaviour, by suppressing the will of others in the name of self-interest. However, this leadership can also be utilitarian. Other characteristics commonly attributed to men are ambition, pride, honour, competitiveness, and a sense of adventure.

These are not necessarily the attributes possessed by the perfect man; but are found in varying degrees, in most men.

They may reveal themselves differently from man to man, as one may use his power and influence for selfish interests, while another will strive for the greater good.

As such, each man must assess his own strengths and weaknesses and find the best use for his vital characteristics.

See you this day next week. Until then, keep thinking; keep laughing. Life is mostly about these two activities.

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