Buying suits in London

After walking around London city shops for a few minutes, Paddy turns to Murphy with a look of amazement on his face and says, "Murphy, will you have a look at that shop over there. I thought that London was supposed to be expensive but that shop is as cheap as chips." "So it is." Murphy says, "Paddy you're right so you are, will you have a look at that. Suits £10.00, Shirts £4.00, Trousers £5.00. I think that we should buy a lot and take them back to Ireland. We would make a tidy profit selling them in Dublin." "So we would." Paddy says in agreement, "Murphy that is as good an idea as you'll ever have, but I'm pretty sure that you have to pay taxes and duty on things like that.

The shopkeeper will never let us have them if he thinks that we are exporting them and make our fortune, so he won't." Murphy thinks and says,"Paddy, I've got an idea! You can do the best English accent out of the pair of us. You go in there and do the talking and I'll just stand behind you and say nothing.

He'll never guess we are Irish so he won't think otherwise." "OK Murphy", agrees Paddy, "I'll do the talking, you just stand there and look English." So the two visitors entered the shop, where Paddy is greeted politely by the owner. Paddy with his English accent placed the order for a large amount of trousers and shirts.

Upon hearing this request from Paddy, the owner smiles, takes a look at Murphy as well then asks Paddy, "You're Irish aren't you?" Very surprised, Paddy replies, "Well, would you believe it, if that isn't my best English accent. How did you know that we were Irish?" The owner replies, "This is a Dry Cleaners, mate!!"

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Money Problem

A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and says to his dad, "I need to borrow two hundred dollars." At the other end, his father says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line." The boy shouts, "Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!" "Sorry, I still can't hear you clearly," says his father. The operator cuts in, "Sorry to butt in, but I can hear him perfectly." The father says, "Oh, good. YOU send him the money!"

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