Musings:

Funny folk - but are they only funny?

by Padma Edirisinghe

Some time back I was invited to a commemoration ceremony of a lady I had never met nor talked to, even across the wizardly wire. The invitation was purely due to the fact that a cousin of mine connected to the WHO was the chief organizer. He probably wished to fatten the audience by inviting humans like me because people now care little about the dead, let alone the living.

Lethargy

Out of respect for my cousin I attended it and even shedding my usual lethargy about dress, dressed rather grandly. When I entered the hall it was thinly populated while my cousin was on the stage attending to some stage matter.

On seeing me he signalled me to sit in the front row. I, according to my usual policy to remain inconspicuous sat in the very corner of the first row. Soon a man or a gentleman (I am not sure of the demarcation) came and sat by me. The way he began fidgeting made me forewarned about some drama. Now he stood up and pulled out all his pockets as though to make sure that he had not been robbed on the highway.

Now fully assured otherwise he sat and then grimaced at me. I grimaced back, for a grimace is no preliminary step to sexual molestation.

Next he began talking and his first remark astounded me.

"Are you the one who is being commemorated?"

"No. What made you think so?"

"Because you are in the front row."

"Very silly. Anyway I am not dead to be commemorated for usually these functions are held in honour of the dead".

"So can they hear all that is said about them?"

"You are correct there"

Cocked

Anyway, my remark elated him so much that he cocked one foot above the other and began emitting smoke from his cigarette.

"Now that we are talking of death," I said, "You are sure to die early by that habit".

"You are telling me," he said and went on puffing like one of our early trains running on charcoal smoke.

When the long speeches got going about the dead lady he began to yawn and then got up and left the place.

Later I related the incident to my cousin who said that he noticed the man but did not know him. He had seen him again gobbling eats during the refreshment session. So he has come back for gormandizing activities.

This brand has now become popular in cities such as our capital boasting bloated flowing populations. The species play hide and seek among the crowds and exploit the multitude of social functions.

They appear at the start of functions and then disappear and appear again to make full use of the eats and drinks served later.

Once the main library of Colombo housed such an individual. No one had ever seen him reading a book there, but he was always there for functions and displayed the optimum activity when eats and drinks were going round. Later he had died, probably due to much consumption of such food for which not a cent was paid. The library canteen he avoided like the very plague.

One day however he met his Waterloo, a female Waterloo when he had the audacity to sit to an official photo of the regular users of the library. She accosting him remarked that she had never seen him using the library after which he got up and vanished with his tail between his hind legs, utterly humiliated.

Provoked

I was provoked to writing this after reading a news piece about a robbery at a premier hotel in Colombo where four men had enjoyed themselves at a party in the hotel, to which they were never invited, and then tried to vanish with some expensive tableware. They were caught in the act.

One lawless act can easily lead to another. Entering places and functions, uninvited is one lawless act and then robbing follows easily. If Colombo is on the list to advance to a Sin City, individuals such as these, unemployed and fraught with evil intention are a heavily contributory factor. Funny folk! They come in plenty but are they only funny? Remember that remark as to whether the dead can hear all the eulogies heaped on them? No wiser question was asked in recent times.