Do you know how to holiday?

by Lionel Wijesiri

Vacations, if properly planned and executed, can tone up both mind and body. But too many of us don't know how to take a holiday. We make mistakes that wipe out so many of the potential benefits that we might as well have kept on working.

During my long career, I have seen many colleagues and subordinates whose vacations were basically a psychological 'escape' from their work. (If that's the overriding need, then perhaps another, more suitable job was required.) Instead of making their holiday a period of rest and development of rapport with their families, they wanted to block everything out by 'fun-packed' activity. When the 'fun' was over, they were often in worse shape, mentally and physically, than when it began.

Let me caution you of a few common vacation errors.

* Manage your expectations

Studies have shown that the people of Denmark are among the happiest in the world-and that this satisfaction is at least partially attributed to their expectations about what's to come. It's as simple as this: The Danes have low expectations for the upcoming year, they thus find themselves 'pleasantly surprised' when life brings them joy.

Now, it doesn't mean you shouldn't look forward to your vacation, but take a tip from the Danes and don't count on perfection. Hope for an enjoyable trip, rather than anticipating (and telling everyone you know) that you're in for the best week of your entire life.

* Detox from your devices

Were you thinking of packing your iPad, MacBook Air and iPhone for your three-day weekend Down South? Take a few minutes to assess what you really need. If you really need an iPad while you're away, then bring it with you. But if you can leave something behind and take a break from the glare of (at least) one of your screens, do it. Your brain (and your travel companions) will probably thank you for it.

Without a device to distract you, you'll have an easier time letting go of your 'real life' and tuning into those cannot-miss-moments like a beautiful sunset or the sound of an ocean breeze (the reason you go on vacation in the first place!). If you do want to use your iPhone to take photographs, either disable your email or simply ignore them. But also remember this: your co-workers and your subordinates will most likely be able to survive without you for few days.

* Get a real change

To get any lasting enjoyment out of your vacation, you must have a change of pace and scene. You need not travel abroad. But a visit to a National Park or wide-open spaces of the South would be fine. Spending your entire vacation at home is usually a mistake. You will be seeing the same friends you see all year, and your office will be telephoning constantly.

* Do not crowd in too much

A common error of a vacationer is trying to see and do far too much. Visiting three destinations in five days can leave you not merely exhausted but also with a depression that lasts long after you are back at work. Even if you spend the entire vacation in one place, it's easy to slip into an exhausting routine. Don't arrange big plans to meet business associates or friends while on vacation.

If you do, the whole vacation could turn into 'tonight-it's-our-turn' dinner- sessions. Also, instead of being independent, able to loaf when you want to, you and your family will be tied down to other people, their desires and whims.

* Do not hold faulty mental attitudes

Modern life brings a continual assault on our nerves, and we are unlikely to change this. But on vacation, we should take time to cultivate the composure and calmness that bring relaxation. To be able to live in peace and quiet for a time is a mark of maturity. It gives you the opportunity to think about your family and yourself in relation to the grand design of life.

You achieve a measure of peace of mind; all at once your boss does not seem so abrasive, or the demands of your family so unreasonable. Your facial muscles begin to feel relaxed and easy, the frown disappears, and the lines soften.

There are several specific steps which I believe can help cultivate this. To start with, recognize that the world is not dependent on your actions alone. In 32 years handling Human Resources, I do not believe I ever saw a good-tempered person who took himself too seriously. Recognise also that it is not enough to repress fear or anger; when the immediate problem is past, you must try to put it in perspective. No better time can be found for this than on a vacation, when your own values can be compared with the nature.

*Relax and recharge

A good holiday is often marked by a reduction in more satisfying sleep, loss of 'nervousness', slower heart rate and reduction in blood pressure. You should return with your mind more receptive and tranquil, and on better terms with your family. And those formidable problems you left behind should almost seem to solve themselves.

Vacations are a great way to relax and recharge, but they're not an excuse to let good manners fall by the wayside. Be sure to let clients and co-workers know in advance that you'll be out of town, tell them when you plan to return, and give them the name of whomever they should contact with questions or concerns in the meantime. Finally, right before you head out the door, change the message on your phone and set the out-of-office reminder on your work email so that anyone trying to contact you while you're away knows when you'll be back and who to contact in the meantime.