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by FACTOTUM

It has been reported that almost a quarter of a full complement of over a thousand vehicles allocated to former Ministers and MPs have not been returned yet, although over a good five months have elapsed since the voter effected a change in the set up at the top. The report further adds that some vehicles have been rendered out of commission.

These are probably those that were commandeered for heavy duty come election time shunting lesser mortals known to form the party that accompanied the politico. Although they were not meant for the demanding rigours of excessive travel nevertheless run, on unlimited supplies of fuel paid for by the ever generous public.

The unkindest cut of all however, is that some vehicles have been cannibalised. To trace the missing vital accessories would be another gargantuan task. It could be argued that writing them off would be more prudent than scouting all those pavements down Panchikawatta in Maradana known to the knowledgeable as the repository of (vehicle) body parts which fetch rewarding prices depending on the make and model and marketability of such vandalised and cannibalised parts.

Those sleek limousines that used to glide along as part of convoys were not appendages of the peace caravan. The latest models of super luxury vehicles had been brought down in a tense security situation. Our politicos then had to be conducted safely on the highways and byways when they, as always were attending to their onerous duties that came within the ambit of public service. Their occupational hazard had to be minimised at public expense. They were after all reduced to devoting full time service in the public interest and their welfare.

These vehicles we were told were not doled out gratis to the servants of the people. The poor legislator was called upon to make good the cost in tough instalments. The only concession being that they were permitted a waiver of the tax that the 'ordinary' citizen who could afford such luxury was called upon to pay. That was considered fair on the basis that the private citizen was not after all in public service.

These politicos deservedly had their retinue to be at their beck and call. The overworked lawmakers' dire basic needs had to be seen to. That meant the safe despatch of nuclear and extended family members and sometimes others on their numerous schedules. So it was quite in order that additional vehicles of the latest vintage were allocated to them after careful scrutiny no doubt of the size and perhaps age of such recipients. We are sure that there is a clear record of these allocations, complete with the type of accessories that went with them and even their number plates and other spare parts.

We do not know, in fact it would have been grossly unfair and outrageous if any agreements had been entered into by the recipient parties in these transactions, though one would expect some sort of binding over in the case of dispensing with public property movable or immovable but it is quite apparent that no mechanism to seize these vehicles was set in place. Such barbarous practices to outmatch cannibalisation are for leasing companies. It would be scandalous to see bigwigs of yore and their yokels being bundled out of vehicles and musclemen seizing their vehicles on the highways.

That would bring into ridicule those who had been ruling the roost a few moons ago irrespective of the colours they sported. If such ignominy has been avoided at the expense of the public a reciprocal show of gamesmanship has not been forthcoming from some quarters.

Of course, as always it is the public official who has defaulted and has to take the blame for all this. None other than the topmost official has now been named to be accountable for the 'showmanship' of those who come and go through the corridors of power.

It is not known if these unfortunates would be made to fan out as search parties in a vain exercise to retrieve the missing vehicles and accessories. Cannibals are not known to leave traces of their victims. These internalised vehicles would be then listed as missing. That would not be as horrendous as the listing of missing persons - those unfortunate victims at the war front and sometimes elsewhere when others disappear into the abyss of the underworld.

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