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| Sunday, 14 July 2002 |
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by Kate Taranluk Does one really have the freedom of choice? If so, what are the options? Teenagers have a range of options to choose from, but it can only add to confusion. What do you want to do?" I recall this question being put to me repeatedly over many years by a variety of people. My parents shot the question at me when I was 16, and choosing my A/Levels. My careers teacher when I was 18, and selecting a degree and a university. My friends when I was leaving university. My parents, again, despairingly posed the question post-university when I was loaded with a non-vocational 'English' degree and still had numerous options open to me. Now at the grand old age of 25, with a husband, a good job and a baby, I am still pondering over the question. Only the other day did my husband pose the dreaded question - only now I'm grown up, aren't I? The answer, of course, is much more difficult to handle, and one that, despite the question having been posed various times throughout my life, has never really being considered properly. It's always been a case of 'What should I do?'' What am I good at?'; 'What would make my parents proud of me?'; 'What would make my friends envious?'; 'What would I be most successful at and make most money from?' Naturally, these questions are also important, but never did I really consider what I wanted! Now, 'want' is a selfish notion even in the western world, and I'm sure I'd feel rather guilty anyway doing what I want. However, there are people out there 'somewhere' who are doing what they want - personally. I don't know many, but I've heard of a new scattered around the planet. They're quite noticeable I'm sure - they're the ones wearing broad Cheshire cat smiles, walking on air, with clear complexions, no grey hairs and completely stress-free. 'The right to choose' has as a democratic Western slogan, especially in the last few decades, become a notion which my generation aspires to. The older generation is visibly shocked by the range of choices on offer today - from market goods to university courses. So many times have I heard the expression - "When I was your age. I did't have the choices you have today"; "At 16, I just had to go out and get a job - it was expected of me"; or: "You're lucky, you've got the choice to go to university." Yes. I agree - I am lucky to be able to choose. Choice allows freedom and independence within your life, it is a valuable gift which everyone is entitled to, but not everybody has. Yet, choice can also be a burden when you have it. Sometimes I wish that my parents could have chosen for me - that they had been determined enough to tell me to become a lawyer or a doctor. Instead, however, they were relaxed and supportive, and merely concluded that "Whatever makes you happy, darling" was the most beneficial and invaluable advice they could offer. Of course, I am happy, but not totally satisfied and I've never really stuck to anything concrete. The choices being so capacious and being an indecisive person anyway. I've tried this, and dabbled at that, and never really got my teeth into anything. Even when I've stuck at something for a time. I've wondered, "Should I have taken another path?" Teenagers today must find themselves in even more a dilemma with so much more choice. I was flicking through a careers book the other day, and came across jobs. I didn't even know existed. As for university courses - there are some ridiculously specialised courses being offered now. To be honest, the whole thing gives me a headache. Choice is even more crucial for girls and women, because of the issue of motherhood. In my grandmother's time women just got married and had babies - what other choice was there? But, now, girls are faced not only with the burning question of what career they should embark upon, but also at what stage they should consider marriage and family - or, should they, at all? Let's face it, more and more women are choosing not to embark upon family life at all. Choice is a privilege and has brought with it so much good - liberty, freedom, learning, independence, autonomy. But also a quandary - so much confusion and chaos and so many regrets. I'm sure there's something out there I really want to do, but I'm so loaded down with choice that I find it difficult to make a decision, and stick to it without regretting that decision and feeling. I should have done something altogether different. The best advice to offer in just such a situation is: "Choose life?" |
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