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| Sunday, 10 November 2002 |
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Features |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
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Realites of retired life in Sri Lanka by V.R. Amarasingham (President Ageing Gracefully) To compare benefits to Elders as in developed countries is to live in fools paradise. Society relates retirements to diminishing abilities. To remain young is the right of only the younger generation. This triggers negative thinking about elders by both the younger people and the elders themselves. So the society here is justified to mandate retirements on chronological age and the society pays a great price for this erroneous thinking. Many are unaware that the life-span of humans have increased tremendously. It took hundreds of years for the life-span of 20 years to reach 40 years. In 1970 this increased life-span of 20 years to double itself from 40-60 years took only a few decades, due to various factors. Modern research by George Solomon and his team of psyco-neuro immunologists funded by UCLA showed that the brain and immune system of healthy elders compare favourably with very much younger people. Society has yet to understand that prolongation of life is accompanied by prolongation of productive capabilities. ('Head First' by Norman Cousins). Society including the elders should accept realities prevailing in Sri Lanka. Health, security for the future and independent living is the dream of every elder. Migration to urban areas creates serious housing problems. The addition of a member to an already tight family group always changes the dynamics of the group. The new person like a parent or a friend will always bring his/her values and priorities which can be in conflict. So this person turns out to be an intruder causing in-law problems or inter-generation gap causing sibling trauma. Domestic abuse results. A large percentage of such abuse is not revealed. So the intruder withdraws resulting in loneliness which is the underlying cause for many ailments in the elderly including suicide. Even the carer who might be the daughter or an elderly relation can burn out physically and the carer can now become the abuser. If the elder is not dependent for mobility or security or health, this elder is contended. But in some the power, prestige and position tasted in their pre-retirement life is carried into their retired social activities. Male chauvinism These elders who adorn important seats in social or religious circles also become frustrated if a back seat is given in related social or religious gatherings. Pensioners prior to 1990 do not have financial security since pensions rise at snail pace compared to the rabbit rapidity of escalating cost of living. if an elder is contended tries to imitate the neighbour's life-style who has more wants than the elder, the elders "needs" become his "Wants" and frustration can set in. Frustration in any form is the catalyst for most stress related ailments. The longer the frustration the greater the damage. Unlike in the west even in spite of women's rights enacted by the state the winds of change have not completely blown off the dust found on the rocks of tradition and religious belief accumulated over the centuries. Even after retirement the male continues to give orders in the home much to the exabarassment of his grown up children who resists such behaviour. Retired men can become resentful of socially active spouses if they have not planned for any meaningful activity in their retirement. The male becomes such a terror that sometimes his spouse opts to stay with the children locally or abroad or join an elder's home. The lone male can abuse himself with drugs or alcohol. Even very elderly bachelors can do the same. The elderly spinster or widow is far more flrsible in overcoming loneliness. Meaningful counselling by knowledgeable counsellors trained to counsel the elderly is an option that the Ministry of Social Services has considered seriously. The average elder is fairly knowledgeable regarding diet, exercise and rest. He/she takes steps to control heart, bone, blood pressure. Cholesterol, diabetes. His worship place is his god in heaven and his earthly god is usually his doctor. Man's personality is holistic; ie. body, mind and spirit. Many elders and younger people do not know that there is a language of the mind and a language of the body. Join the mind and body together and each understands the language of the other. You can be on top of the world even if there are turbulent waters and sinking sand in life's journey. The best age for an elderly couple is their retirement period. Unfortunately men are usually the villain of the peace. If this can be rectified and if the thinking can be that "the gates of true happiness and inner peace always open outwards" then you have started the best period of life's pilgrimage. This is how you can age gracefully. |
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