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| Sunday, 9 February 2003 |
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Sel Lipi : At odds Swasthi Shree! Thus says his sacred Majesty, the gracious Great King, glorious Chakravarthi, King of the Kings of Maya, Pihiti and Ruhuna, Mahoora of the Vanniala-aeththo and ruler of all lands from Yapapatuna to Sampanthota: It has come to the notice of the Maha Vasala that while Pandhura, chakravarthi of Amerikaawa, is amassing his infantry cohorts, his war rathas and his dhandumonaras for an assault on the Yonaka Land Between the Rivers, rifts have started to appear between his allies and their subjects. Eight out of every ten of the inhabitants of Brithaanya are said to oppose this war, despite the efforts of the bambara vedhas of Angili-dhanisa Balaya, the chakravarthi of that nation. Similar numbers of the populace are said to oppose the attack in the other Parangi nations, including Amerikaawa itself. In order to change this situation, Pandhura's agra purohita, Kolon Pawul has produced a massive puskola potha, detailing the heinous crimes of Takritiye Saddam, chakravarthi of the Land Between the Rivers. He has presented evidence (of the variety presented years ago, after the so-called incident in the Gulf of Tonkin in Vietnaamaya) of the deadly agneyashthra and pashupathasthra weapons that Takritiye Saddam allegedly possesses. It seems that the fact that no such weapons have been found is proof of their existence. Not to be outdone, Balaya (a cold fish), to still the opposition of his people, has created an even greater puskola potha, said to be a compilation of the reports of the dreaded Banda charapurushas, the licenced-to-kill spies of Brithaanya. Kolon Pawul has ungrudgingly given it unstinted praise as a superior work. Unfortunately, it seems that the information therein has been copied by Balaya's bambara vedhas from ancient sel lipi and from the ola leaves (some of them over ten years old) of students. Meanwhile, not to be left out of the picture, the chakravarthi of Pahala Yata, Havadiya (an even colder fish than Balaya, a veritable seethalaya) is sending ola leaves to all the 'dinkum' denizens of that vast land. These ola leaves explain how the people should help Havadiya to fight the thrasthavaadin, the forces of terrorism and evil as exemplified by Osama Laaden-ge-putha and his 'alkhaida' kalliya and by Takritiye Saddam. Along with each ola leaf is sent a chumbakaya, a magical magnet for affixing ola leaves to the doors of the magical cold boxes of the recipients. What relevance the chumbakaya has is debatable: perhaps it is meant to attract the hearts of the people? Perhaps the kitchen-users are expected to assault and kill Osama with kitchen utensils? Or perhaps the chumbakaya can be hurled, like the breast of the Lady Pattini, with as devastating an effect as the deadly weapons that Takritiye Saddam is accused of having? The cost of sending these olas and chumbakas is nearly two kotis of the kahapanas of Pahala Yata (which are fifty times more valuable than the kahapanas of our sublime island). The people of Pahala Yata are said to be disgruntled by this, preferring the kahapanas to be spent on hospitals for the people (possessed by madness-inducing yakkos) who dream up these schemes. Alas, it seems that the threefold Parangi chakravartiyas, Pandhura, Balaya and Havadiya will not be deflected from their fell design, and will provoke more 'Alkhaidas', more Osamas and more attacks like those on the dhe-atalla and on the beauteous island of Bali. In the immortal words of the Dhammapada of the Thathaagatha: For those who are arrogant and heedless, who leave undone what should be done and do what should not be done for them the cankers will only increase. Swasthi Shree! This rock edict is made on this day of Ravi of the month of Navam of the Year of the Saka Era 1929. |
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