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| Sunday, 23 March 2003 |
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The last refuge Sel Lipi by Gotabhaya Swasthi Shree! Thus says his sacred Majesty, the gracious Great King, glorious Chakravarthi, King of the Kings of Maya, Pihiti and Ruhuna, Mahoora of the Vanniala-aeththo and ruler of all lands from Yapapatuna to Sampanthota: The soldiers of Amerikaawa in the Yonaka Desa have been donning their sannaaha and grasping their aayudha to do battle. The war chariots have been prepared for the onslaught and the dhandumonaras have been readied to fly on their missions of destruction. Now, it has come to the notice of the Maha Vasala that, as the might of the armies and fleets of Amerikaawa has been amassed, the fury of the radhalas of Amerikaawa has been focussed on their enemy. And that foe is not, as many may suppose, the Yonaka Land Between the Rivers, but the Parangi land of Pransaya. In the mighty Amerikaanu capital city of Sodhana-nuwara, in the multhaenges - the kitchens of the palaces and audience halls - the proclamation tom-toms have announced that, henceforth, words like 'Pransa' and 'Pransaya' have been banished. They are to be replaced by dheshapremi words like 'Nidhahasa' (freedom or liberty) and 'janaraja' (republican). This is a punishment for the selfish cowards of Pransaya, who are passively attacking Amerikaawa, by not joining in the attack on Takritiye Saddam. One of the favourite dishes of the Amerikaanun, which goes with their parana kamba aahaara (junk food) like their 'Ooshna Sunakayos' and their 'Lansiyos' served at their Maekko Dhanambulas and other 'kshanika kaema' kades, is 'Pransa Baedhapu Ala' (fried tubers of the Pransayas). However, according to the official pus kola sandeshaya sent by the nilames to the muthaenges of the Metropolis, the banishment of Pransa Baedhapu Ala from the diets to be served up and their replacement by 'Nidhahas Baedhapu Ala' has been ordained. It is rumoured that further such defensive measures are being readied by the dauntless, fearless korales and nilames of Sodhana-nuwara. Such unpatriotic, Pransa-sheeli foods as Pransa Aba, Pransa Ros Paan and Pransa Bonchi are to be replaced by Nidahas Aba, Deshapremi Ros Paan and Janaraja Bonchi. And it is not the cooks in their multhaenge redoubts alone who will be at the forefront of the struggle. The builders and architects too will rally round Pransa Kavulu will become Vivurtha Kavulu (windows of openness) and Paelaesthara of Pareesiya will be renamed that of Prajathanthraya (plaster of democracy). And the official displeasure at Pransa Nivaadu will change with the renaming of such leave as Amerikaanu Nivaadu. And what the postal runners have been ordered to do with the Pransa liya-kiyavili does not bear thinking of. All this is reminiscent of the deshapremi re-naming of the Onions of Mumbaaya some time back, in our own Dhammadweepa. But it has been observed that he who is without fault alone may point fingers. We in our resplendent isle have sent our womenfolk out to the Yonaka Desa to earn kahapanas for us. We have appointed nilames to look after their interests in those desert lands. However, it has come to the notice of the Maha Wasala that, at the first hint of trouble, the aforesaid nilames have taken to their heels. Alas for the Sri Lankan women stranded in the desert, far from their loved ones. The deshapremi radhalas of Sodhana-nuwara at least appear only to have taken revenge on the language of their foes, whereas the deshapremi nilames appointed by us to take care of our own people appear to have punished their own charges. Swasthi Shree! This rock edict is made on this day of Ravi of the month of Medin of the Year of the Saka Era 1929. |
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